About four years ago, I looked at myself in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw. I felt like a beached whale. My blood pressure was high, my RA was getting worse and I didn’t think highly of my self-image. I had let myself go. I couldn’t sleep and I was spiraling to a point of no return with depression. I realized then that if I didn’t do something about myself, that no one else would. I was accountable for where I was in my life and only I could improve it. So on that day, I decided that I’m going to invest in “me”.
Somehow, I had to de-program myself. At that time, food was my happiness. It tasted great so therefore it’s great for you and makes you feel great. Right? WRONG! I learned a lot since then. I took measures into my own hands and with some medical intervention, I lost over 100 pounds. With the help of doctors and nutritionists, psychiatrists and a very supportive family, I learned to eat better, have a better self image of myself and enjoy life. It’s true. I got a small glimpse of what happiness was all about. I was happy about life again.
Then Darren and I got crazy and thought, “Let’s have another kid.” Hey, it sounded like a great idea at the time. And it was. We had a lot of fun trying. But Mother Nature’s forces did not cooperate with us and we had to seek out some more divine intervention. So in February 2007, we got the wonderful news that “it was a success” we were going to have another baby! Sonograms later revealed that we must have had double the pleasure and double the fun because we have DOUBLE the trouble and to expect twins. I didn’t realize at the time, that being pregnant with twins meant there were a lot more things you had to do to make sure they are healthy. Eating is one of those things. When the doctor told me that this could be a challenge for me, I didn’t realize how much until the nutritionist unloaded that I had to consume approximately 3600 calories a day in order to ensure that the three of us would be able to gain enough weight to sustain my pregnancy. Holy shit! I go from barely being able to eat 1000 calories a day to having to eat 3600 calories. How in the name of god was I going to do this? Surely this was a miscalculation of some sort. So, on my next doctor visit, I told the doctor that I didn’t need to give birth to sumo wrestlers, just normal size and weight babies. The doctor laughed and said the calorie in take was for normal babies. Anything less would not be healthy for me and especially not for the twins.
Slowly I watched the 100+ pounds I lost find me again. Family pressuring me, nutritionists reminding me and doctors demanding that I eat more finally lead way to me getting back into my old snacking habits. When I was confined to bed rest, it got worse. I ate out of boredom. When all was said and done, I had gained 30 pounds. And these 30 pounds don’t want to go away easily….
So last week, I looked at myself in the mirror, and, once again, I’m not liking what I see. I’ll be damned if I let myself go there again! So, it’s time. I’m back on the diet wagon again. I’m lucky in that Darren said that he’ll help me and support me, so, he’s on this diet with me. (Reason # 1,701,614 why I love him so much!)
This is the first week on Weight Watchers and all I can say is that right now, LIFE SUCKS! I’m not the eternal optimist as Darren. Nothing, I repeat NOTHING is enjoyable about this. In fact, I hate the food, the vitamins, the exercise and everything that there is about this asinine diet. So why do it? Well for several reasons. First, so that I can get back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. Second, so that I feel better physically and emotionally about myself and most importantly, so that that I don’t get back to what I was prior to me losing over 100 pounds. I want to be healthy again so that I’m there for my kiddos and for Darren. That’s my main motivation.
Thirty pounds may not seem like much, at least not when I look back at where I’ve been in the past, but I don’t EVER want to go back there. So, I’m back on this diet thing which, for now, makes me meaner then hell. It makes me bitchy and bitter. It makes me irritable and grouchy. I’ve got to re-learn my good eating habits again. I’ve got to remember that feeling satisfied doesn’t mean keep eating until you are full. *sigh* This is just the first week back on the wagon and it’s been brutal. I’m not sure what sicko decided that a person can survive on only 24 points but I think that person should be shot!
So what’s the point of this blog then? Well, other than to read some psycho woman rant on about being on a self imposed diet, it serves as a warning. If I sound bitchy or respond in a snappy tone, then it’s a very good possibility that I’m hungry. Just throw me a cheese fry and I should be better. I’m just warning people now, approach me at your own risk and you had been be armed with food to throw at this cougar or I’m likely to snap at you!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
Friendship
I know that I’ve said this before, but I’m not exactly the most social of people. I think that is why I enjoy Twitter so much. I can be this “personality” and no one really knows who I am. Not too many people know that I’m on Twitter and I don’t have too many followers either. What’s seen on Twitter is the uncensored “me”. The “me” that only a few people really know in person.
People who actually meet me in person think I’m “cold” or “impersonal”. It’s o.k. I’m comfortable with this fact. It’s those people that can see beyond that hereditary “wall” of mine that are truly worthy of being what I call my friend. It’s that sort of person that I want to be my friend. So when I say that I don’t have too many friends, it’s should be of no surprise. The few friends that I do have, I will fight to the death for. I have an extreme loyalty to my friends and I will give and help them with anything that I possibly can.
I can honestly say that Darren was and still is my first true friend. It took me 17 years to find him, but thankfully, God intervened and finally put situations in place so that our pathways would cross with one another. Darren was the first one to “get it”. Maybe it’s just his personality of being persistent, or loves the pursuit of a challenge or maybe it’s just plain dumb luck that he stumbled upon, but Darren was the first person to see past all my nasty flaws and crusty walls and truly see me. Anyone lucky enough to have Darren as a friend is truly blessed. He can see the humor in just about anything and will always be there for you. But this blog isn’t about my friendship with Darren. This blog really is about someone else.
There is one other person in my life that falls into my true friend category. I haven’t known her forever like I have Darren, but she’s definitely a close 2nd. I’ve known her for over 19 years now and she’s still crazy enough to not run away from me screaming. She is the closest thing to being a sister to me.
What makes her so special? Well for starters she’s absolutely beautiful. She’s gorgeous not only on the outside but on the inside as well. Now most women (myself included) would typically feel a tinge of jealousy or competitiveness about this, but it’s different with my BFF. With her, I don’t feel like the “short, dumpy one” or “the one with a good personality”. My BFF is the type of person that doesn’t even realize how beautiful she is. If she does, well than she sure does put on a great show making us believe otherwise. Anyway, my BFF is the one that guys always take a second glance at when we’re out together. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve laughed at the whiplash some guys have given themselves with their double takes as she walks by. Thankfully, she’s a good sport about it. There are sometimes though, when guys are so obvious about it, that she’ll really put them on the spot. One time she and I were shopping and we couldn’t help but notice two guys constantly and conveniently on the same aisle as we were on. They would glance over at us and whisper and nudge one another. Finally my BFF looked over and yells, “What is your deal? I’m pregnant O.K?!” It was furthest from the truth, she wasn’t pregnant, but the two guys both jumped and couldn’t get away from us fast enough. We laughed so hard that we were crying.
My BFF and I have gone through a lot together, yet another reason why she is so special to me. We’ve gone through heartbreaks, health scares and lean days of sharing a Taco Cabana meal because our checking accounts were almost empty and payday was another week away. She’s been my shoulder to cry on (literally) when Darren was out of the country and I was alone in my apartment scared to death. She’s been subjected to my failed fish tank set up attempt and she’s been my personal “Martha Stewart” for any decorating advice I need.
We’ve gone through work frustrations and job and personal identity crisis together. Through it all, we’re still friends and look back and laugh in amazement on exactly how we have managed to survive this far in life without getting ourselves either killed or seriously maimed.
My BFF always manages to save the day and bail Darren out of serious trouble when he's in the dog house with me. She continuously reminds Darren to “go by the list” and fixes the times when Darren doesn’t. She’s my “little bird” that keeps my life in check. She’s my conscious (both good and bad) and she’s awesome at making people look like the hero. Just ask Darren. She’s the reason why I have my “necessities” in life like purses, wallets and XM Radio.
She has super human powers in influencing people in a positive way and she adores her nieces and nephews, including my tater tots. My kiddos know her as “Aunt Ta-Ta” and to them and me, she is family. She’s been at every important life event for me and has been there to hold my hand when things got really bad and for that she will always be a very important part of my life and always my Best Friend Forever!
People who actually meet me in person think I’m “cold” or “impersonal”. It’s o.k. I’m comfortable with this fact. It’s those people that can see beyond that hereditary “wall” of mine that are truly worthy of being what I call my friend. It’s that sort of person that I want to be my friend. So when I say that I don’t have too many friends, it’s should be of no surprise. The few friends that I do have, I will fight to the death for. I have an extreme loyalty to my friends and I will give and help them with anything that I possibly can.
I can honestly say that Darren was and still is my first true friend. It took me 17 years to find him, but thankfully, God intervened and finally put situations in place so that our pathways would cross with one another. Darren was the first one to “get it”. Maybe it’s just his personality of being persistent, or loves the pursuit of a challenge or maybe it’s just plain dumb luck that he stumbled upon, but Darren was the first person to see past all my nasty flaws and crusty walls and truly see me. Anyone lucky enough to have Darren as a friend is truly blessed. He can see the humor in just about anything and will always be there for you. But this blog isn’t about my friendship with Darren. This blog really is about someone else.
There is one other person in my life that falls into my true friend category. I haven’t known her forever like I have Darren, but she’s definitely a close 2nd. I’ve known her for over 19 years now and she’s still crazy enough to not run away from me screaming. She is the closest thing to being a sister to me.
What makes her so special? Well for starters she’s absolutely beautiful. She’s gorgeous not only on the outside but on the inside as well. Now most women (myself included) would typically feel a tinge of jealousy or competitiveness about this, but it’s different with my BFF. With her, I don’t feel like the “short, dumpy one” or “the one with a good personality”. My BFF is the type of person that doesn’t even realize how beautiful she is. If she does, well than she sure does put on a great show making us believe otherwise. Anyway, my BFF is the one that guys always take a second glance at when we’re out together. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve laughed at the whiplash some guys have given themselves with their double takes as she walks by. Thankfully, she’s a good sport about it. There are sometimes though, when guys are so obvious about it, that she’ll really put them on the spot. One time she and I were shopping and we couldn’t help but notice two guys constantly and conveniently on the same aisle as we were on. They would glance over at us and whisper and nudge one another. Finally my BFF looked over and yells, “What is your deal? I’m pregnant O.K?!” It was furthest from the truth, she wasn’t pregnant, but the two guys both jumped and couldn’t get away from us fast enough. We laughed so hard that we were crying.
My BFF and I have gone through a lot together, yet another reason why she is so special to me. We’ve gone through heartbreaks, health scares and lean days of sharing a Taco Cabana meal because our checking accounts were almost empty and payday was another week away. She’s been my shoulder to cry on (literally) when Darren was out of the country and I was alone in my apartment scared to death. She’s been subjected to my failed fish tank set up attempt and she’s been my personal “Martha Stewart” for any decorating advice I need.
We’ve gone through work frustrations and job and personal identity crisis together. Through it all, we’re still friends and look back and laugh in amazement on exactly how we have managed to survive this far in life without getting ourselves either killed or seriously maimed.
My BFF always manages to save the day and bail Darren out of serious trouble when he's in the dog house with me. She continuously reminds Darren to “go by the list” and fixes the times when Darren doesn’t. She’s my “little bird” that keeps my life in check. She’s my conscious (both good and bad) and she’s awesome at making people look like the hero. Just ask Darren. She’s the reason why I have my “necessities” in life like purses, wallets and XM Radio.
She has super human powers in influencing people in a positive way and she adores her nieces and nephews, including my tater tots. My kiddos know her as “Aunt Ta-Ta” and to them and me, she is family. She’s been at every important life event for me and has been there to hold my hand when things got really bad and for that she will always be a very important part of my life and always my Best Friend Forever!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Just Another Typical Day (Part 2)
So, first stop, Car Wash. Why you ask, well if we going to get all this stuff done, we're going to do it in a clean car! So off we go.
Stop #1:
As we approach, the tween says, do we have to get out, it's so cool to sit in the car while it's going through and getting washed. Hmmm, right, good thinking. Yes, we can stay in the car. Easier on me. So in we go and everything starts off ok. Then we hit the brushes and spinner things. OH MY GOD, IT'S ARMEGEDON! The tornado twins finally meet their match. They go nuts and get all hysterical in pure panic. I'm not sure, but I think I have permanently warped them with car washes now. So we finally get done with the car wash, twins are catatonic at this stage. Do I have the heart to go on? You betcha!
Next stop, pet store!
Ok, so here's the plan. You stay in the car and lock it as soon as I get out. I'm gonna run in and get kitty crunchies. Get it? Got it? Good! Break!
I run out and hear the tweener lock the car. Good, private education really had paid for itself. I run in and grab the kitty crunchies. Now mind you, it's 10:15 am. I'm thinking I should have the run of the store right? WRONG! My luck there's a line and a trainee. GREATNESS! I finally get my purchase done and run back to the car. Thinking that my kid is watching out for me would make sense, however, my child decides to get totally engaged into a stupid pokeman game and doesn't realize that I'm banging on the door. LET ME IN!!!! Finally, he looks up and unlocks the door. Good.
Tweener: "Well, that was a success, can we go to grandma's and grandpa's now?"
Me: "No! That admits defeat. We can do this."
I look back and the twins are still catatonic. Good, on to the next stop. This is possibly the most important stop.
Stop #3:
I look over to the tweener. Once again he's totally into that stupid pokeman game.
Me: "Hey, you...."
Tweener: "Huh?"
Me: "Same plan as before ok?"
Tweener: "yea, sure, ok."
So off I go. This time, my theory is correct. I've got the run of the store! Woot! I grab my fuckitall and I'm in and out in a flash. This time, the tweener didn't have time to loose himself in the stupid pokeman game. Since I got done with that quick, I'm gonna be nice. We're going to get in an extra stop.
Extra stop is:
So once I pull in and throw the van in park I think this may not have been a good idea afterall. Darren has the claim ticket. Damn it! Ok, so I'll just play the dumb wife thing and say that he's out of town and has the ticket in his wallet. Technically this is correct, however, I think he actually lost the claim ticket.
Theory still holding true. Store all to myself. This is good as I stumble through my excuse as to why I don't have a claim ticket. Finally I convince the slightly older then my tweener counter boy that I'm not some pyscho woman and he gets me Darren's suit. Whew. Still good on time though. I run back out to the car and this time I'm not so lucky. The tweener is into that stupid game again. BANG! BANG! BANG! "Hey, open up!" I get the suit in and back into the driver's seat.
Me: "OK, are we all accounted for?"
Tweener: "hmph"
Me: "Twins ok?"
Tweener: "hmph"
I glance over and it looks like their starting to come back to earth after their traumatic experience of the carwash monster. I better get a move on.
Next Stop!:
This is the most critical of all stops. This is the reason why I got myself in this situation. This stop right here! Ahhh, bliss, nirvana, this is the garden of eden! I finally made it.
Me: "Hey, you...."
Tweener: "Huh?"
Me: "Same plan as before ok?"
Tweener: "yea, sure, ok."
I run out and hear the tweener lock the car. Good, private education pays off itself again. I walk in and I find the stock guy and ask "where is the ...." It was if the angels from above shone a light on the shelf on which my beloved ingredient is located. "Sour Apple Pucker?" "Nevermind" I quickly jog to the shelf. What? This can not be? Where is the BIG bottle of this stuff? So I hunt down the stock guy again, excuse me, but tell me you have a bigger bottle of this stuff? And I shove the bottle in his face. "HMMMMM, this stuff is mighty popular this week. I don't know, but I'll check for ya little missy." "Little missy?" Is he joking? Little missy's don't come into a liquor store while her three kids are sitting in a parked mini van waiting and praying there is a bigger bottle of Sour Apple Pucker somewhere in this building. I'm thinking this and wandering around and the this guy comes up to me. He's dressed rather nicely. Huh, familiar? It's the stock guy. Oh my! "Sorry to disappoint you little missy. We're fresh out and that's all we have left in your hand. Tell you what, I'll give you a discount on your entire purchase for the inconvenience." I'm starting to like this guy. So he follows me around, suggesting this and that and I find my way to the Vodka aisle. Hmmm, getting a discount, going to hell anyway for leaving my three children parked in a mini van so what the heck. I grab a couple of bottles and head towards the check out. Meanwhile, stock guy is getting on my nerves at this point. I'm just smiling and nodding and he continues to hover over me. I get through my check out and he tells the checker "it's an F10 on me." The checker just raises an eyebrow and yes sir boss! Cool. Whatever and F10 is, I got it and this stocker guy isn't that bad and weird after all. I smile and thank the stocker guy and run back out to the car. This time, tweener is on the look out for me and he quickly unlocks the car.
Tweener: "Mom, what took you so long?"
Me: "Uh, they had to check on something for me, why?"
Tweener: "I'm starving, and the twins are getting restless."
Me: "Starving, how could you be starving. Didn't you eat before we left the house?"
Tweener: "Uh, hello, no good food remember?"
Me: "Oh, right, ok, on to the next stop then."
Tweener: "Oooooooh mom, it hurts. Can't we just got to grandma's and grandpa's:
Me: "Ask me that one more time and see what happens!"
Tweener: "Ok, Okay! I get it. But can't we stop and getting something to eat?"
Me: "No! We're on a plan. No time for this eating nonsense. Buckle up."
I glance over and it's now apparent that the twins are officially out of their catatonic state of minds and look rather.....judgemental perhaps. I don't know, they just looked at me funny like. No time to analyze this. Gotta stay on task.
Next Stop Is:
So I find a rather close parking spot considering it's getting close to noon and run down the plan with the tweener.
Me: "Stay here, I'm gonna get two carts, you unbuckle the twins, I'll meet you next to the car."
Tweener: "Two Carts, do we that much food?"
Me: "Hello, brother, sister, meet your older brother?"
Tweener: "Oh, I forgot"
Maybe the private education hasn't paid itself off just quite yet. So we get out with and manage to manuevour the carts in the hurricane force winds and get into the store. At this point I now know why the tornado twins were looking at me funny. They were plotting their revenge for the car wash incident. Needless to say, I managed to get the grocery shopping done with only two major tantrums and one ripped bag of chips. Not bad! Let's head to the check out lanes. OH MY GOD! No wonder why I was able to get my shopping done so fast, everyone is standing in line to check out. CRAP! This may be cause to break open the diaper bag and see what's in there. Naaaaw. Let them scream. That tends to part the crowd waves so that we can get through. It actually worked. It was like I had my personal Moses and together they parted the waves of people standing in line. Some cashier took pity on us and opened a lane just to get us out. It was awesome! We finally get done and load up the car and I ensure that everyone and everything is present and accounted for.
Next stop you might ask?
After all that, instead of going home and eating some of our recently purchased good food and snacks, we stop at Chick Fil A. Yep, I know when to give in. Made for some happy tater tots and a happy tweener and have to admit, made my tummie happy too.
Lessoned learned from all this. I'm pretty sure that I just gave my tweener a good lesson on birth control, I know that I've managed to severely traumatize the twin tots with the car wash incident, and I know that I miss and love Darren more than words can say. I won't ever underestimate how much he does for us and how much he helps in keeping us all together and running smoothly. It took one weekend of chaos to reaffirm what I should know all along. Darren is my rock of gilbralter and partner in crime. Together, we can accomplish just about anything.
Stop #1:
As we approach, the tween says, do we have to get out, it's so cool to sit in the car while it's going through and getting washed. Hmmm, right, good thinking. Yes, we can stay in the car. Easier on me. So in we go and everything starts off ok. Then we hit the brushes and spinner things. OH MY GOD, IT'S ARMEGEDON! The tornado twins finally meet their match. They go nuts and get all hysterical in pure panic. I'm not sure, but I think I have permanently warped them with car washes now. So we finally get done with the car wash, twins are catatonic at this stage. Do I have the heart to go on? You betcha!
Next stop, pet store!
Ok, so here's the plan. You stay in the car and lock it as soon as I get out. I'm gonna run in and get kitty crunchies. Get it? Got it? Good! Break!I run out and hear the tweener lock the car. Good, private education really had paid for itself. I run in and grab the kitty crunchies. Now mind you, it's 10:15 am. I'm thinking I should have the run of the store right? WRONG! My luck there's a line and a trainee. GREATNESS! I finally get my purchase done and run back to the car. Thinking that my kid is watching out for me would make sense, however, my child decides to get totally engaged into a stupid pokeman game and doesn't realize that I'm banging on the door. LET ME IN!!!! Finally, he looks up and unlocks the door. Good.
Tweener: "Well, that was a success, can we go to grandma's and grandpa's now?"
Me: "No! That admits defeat. We can do this."
I look back and the twins are still catatonic. Good, on to the next stop. This is possibly the most important stop.
Stop #3:
I look over to the tweener. Once again he's totally into that stupid pokeman game. Me: "Hey, you...."
Tweener: "Huh?"
Me: "Same plan as before ok?"
Tweener: "yea, sure, ok."
So off I go. This time, my theory is correct. I've got the run of the store! Woot! I grab my fuckitall and I'm in and out in a flash. This time, the tweener didn't have time to loose himself in the stupid pokeman game. Since I got done with that quick, I'm gonna be nice. We're going to get in an extra stop.
Extra stop is:
So once I pull in and throw the van in park I think this may not have been a good idea afterall. Darren has the claim ticket. Damn it! Ok, so I'll just play the dumb wife thing and say that he's out of town and has the ticket in his wallet. Technically this is correct, however, I think he actually lost the claim ticket.Theory still holding true. Store all to myself. This is good as I stumble through my excuse as to why I don't have a claim ticket. Finally I convince the slightly older then my tweener counter boy that I'm not some pyscho woman and he gets me Darren's suit. Whew. Still good on time though. I run back out to the car and this time I'm not so lucky. The tweener is into that stupid game again. BANG! BANG! BANG! "Hey, open up!" I get the suit in and back into the driver's seat.
Me: "OK, are we all accounted for?"
Tweener: "hmph"
Me: "Twins ok?"
Tweener: "hmph"
I glance over and it looks like their starting to come back to earth after their traumatic experience of the carwash monster. I better get a move on.
Next Stop!:
This is the most critical of all stops. This is the reason why I got myself in this situation. This stop right here! Ahhh, bliss, nirvana, this is the garden of eden! I finally made it. Me: "Hey, you...."
Tweener: "Huh?"
Me: "Same plan as before ok?"
Tweener: "yea, sure, ok."
I run out and hear the tweener lock the car. Good, private education pays off itself again. I walk in and I find the stock guy and ask "where is the ...." It was if the angels from above shone a light on the shelf on which my beloved ingredient is located. "Sour Apple Pucker?" "Nevermind" I quickly jog to the shelf. What? This can not be? Where is the BIG bottle of this stuff? So I hunt down the stock guy again, excuse me, but tell me you have a bigger bottle of this stuff? And I shove the bottle in his face. "HMMMMM, this stuff is mighty popular this week. I don't know, but I'll check for ya little missy." "Little missy?" Is he joking? Little missy's don't come into a liquor store while her three kids are sitting in a parked mini van waiting and praying there is a bigger bottle of Sour Apple Pucker somewhere in this building. I'm thinking this and wandering around and the this guy comes up to me. He's dressed rather nicely. Huh, familiar? It's the stock guy. Oh my! "Sorry to disappoint you little missy. We're fresh out and that's all we have left in your hand. Tell you what, I'll give you a discount on your entire purchase for the inconvenience." I'm starting to like this guy. So he follows me around, suggesting this and that and I find my way to the Vodka aisle. Hmmm, getting a discount, going to hell anyway for leaving my three children parked in a mini van so what the heck. I grab a couple of bottles and head towards the check out. Meanwhile, stock guy is getting on my nerves at this point. I'm just smiling and nodding and he continues to hover over me. I get through my check out and he tells the checker "it's an F10 on me." The checker just raises an eyebrow and yes sir boss! Cool. Whatever and F10 is, I got it and this stocker guy isn't that bad and weird after all. I smile and thank the stocker guy and run back out to the car. This time, tweener is on the look out for me and he quickly unlocks the car.
Tweener: "Mom, what took you so long?"
Me: "Uh, they had to check on something for me, why?"
Tweener: "I'm starving, and the twins are getting restless."
Me: "Starving, how could you be starving. Didn't you eat before we left the house?"
Tweener: "Uh, hello, no good food remember?"
Me: "Oh, right, ok, on to the next stop then."
Tweener: "Oooooooh mom, it hurts. Can't we just got to grandma's and grandpa's:
Me: "Ask me that one more time and see what happens!"
Tweener: "Ok, Okay! I get it. But can't we stop and getting something to eat?"
Me: "No! We're on a plan. No time for this eating nonsense. Buckle up."
I glance over and it's now apparent that the twins are officially out of their catatonic state of minds and look rather.....judgemental perhaps. I don't know, they just looked at me funny like. No time to analyze this. Gotta stay on task.
Next Stop Is:
So I find a rather close parking spot considering it's getting close to noon and run down the plan with the tweener.Me: "Stay here, I'm gonna get two carts, you unbuckle the twins, I'll meet you next to the car."
Tweener: "Two Carts, do we that much food?"
Me: "Hello, brother, sister, meet your older brother?"
Tweener: "Oh, I forgot"
Maybe the private education hasn't paid itself off just quite yet. So we get out with and manage to manuevour the carts in the hurricane force winds and get into the store. At this point I now know why the tornado twins were looking at me funny. They were plotting their revenge for the car wash incident. Needless to say, I managed to get the grocery shopping done with only two major tantrums and one ripped bag of chips. Not bad! Let's head to the check out lanes. OH MY GOD! No wonder why I was able to get my shopping done so fast, everyone is standing in line to check out. CRAP! This may be cause to break open the diaper bag and see what's in there. Naaaaw. Let them scream. That tends to part the crowd waves so that we can get through. It actually worked. It was like I had my personal Moses and together they parted the waves of people standing in line. Some cashier took pity on us and opened a lane just to get us out. It was awesome! We finally get done and load up the car and I ensure that everyone and everything is present and accounted for.
Next stop you might ask?
After all that, instead of going home and eating some of our recently purchased good food and snacks, we stop at Chick Fil A. Yep, I know when to give in. Made for some happy tater tots and a happy tweener and have to admit, made my tummie happy too. Lessoned learned from all this. I'm pretty sure that I just gave my tweener a good lesson on birth control, I know that I've managed to severely traumatize the twin tots with the car wash incident, and I know that I miss and love Darren more than words can say. I won't ever underestimate how much he does for us and how much he helps in keeping us all together and running smoothly. It took one weekend of chaos to reaffirm what I should know all along. Darren is my rock of gilbralter and partner in crime. Together, we can accomplish just about anything.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Just Another Typical Day (Part 1)
Just your typical day right? Wrong! There is nothing right about having to be a bachelorette with a tweener and twin toddlers. I must have been hit with temporary insanity when Darren asked if I would mind him going up to Deer Camp with our next door neighbor to help build a bridge over the creek. "Sure, go ahead, have fun!" This said as my tweener was in a PSIA competition, I'm stretched out in a cafeteria table reading a book. (yea, his timing is perfect right?) This said as my tornado twins are causing havoc at my parents house. "Sure, go ahead and have fun!" What a freakin' idiot I am.
Don't get me wrong. Darren deserves to get away. I want him to go and enjoy things he likes to do. I by no means want to be that "ball and chain". I'm so grateful that he even considers to ask me before he plans to go out and do things. That's one of the millions of things I love about him. However, back to me and my insanity....
So it doesn't exactly sink in as to what I agreed upon until after I finally get home at 7:30 pm on a Friday might with a hyped up tweener, and twin toddlers that are about to go postal on me if I don't hurry up and get them in their jammies and in bed.
I look around, and the house is quiet...very quiet. I look around some more and there are mounds of laundry...gasp. A little more looking uncovers dishes piled in the sink...eeek! While looking for food, I realize we have slim pickin's and desperation sets in at this point. The tweener and I settle on feasting on easy mac for dinner.
Tweener: "So Mom, are you sure you don't want me to stay with Grandma and Grandpa?"
Me: "Yes, I'm sure. We can do this."
Tweener: "Exactly what do you mean by WE?"
Me: "You, Me and the twins will survive."
Tweener: "Whatever, survival requires food we don't have any good food."
Right. Point taken. So the pantry is a little bare. And, yes, after cleaning out the fridge, there isn't much left in there either. So, I have this brainiac of an idea that I'll show Darren. Not only will I survive this, but I will have the house clean, laundry and dishes done, babies clean and pantry and fridge full with food. Hell, I'll even pick up his suit AND get the car washed and stop at the liquor store. Yea, that will show HIM! Have I mentioned that I'm just slightly INSANE!
So here we are, Saturday morning and the tweener states the obvious.
Tweener: "We don't have any waffles."
Me: "Well, have some cereal then."
Tweener: "We don't have any of that either, you just gave the rest to the twins."
Me: "Well, get some muffins."
Tweener: "Mom, you gave those to the twins last night."
Me: "Well, shit on a stick!"
Ok, I can do this. Just like the little engine that could, that is going to be my mantra for the day. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. So as the twins tear up the house and run around crazy and screaming like banshees, I map out the master plan. I take a look at it and think, it's doable. I can do this!
So, I slam down my reheated by the microwave left over coffee from the day before and tell the tweener, pack it up, we're heading out.
Tweener: "Mom, are you sure about this? Tell me again why we can't just go to grandma's and grandpa's?"
Me: "Shut up and get you brother in the car." "We can do this damn it!"
I swear I hear him mumble something on the lines of "you're freaking crazy", but I can't be 100% sure at this point. My euphoria of me actually attempting to get all this stuff done is overwhelming at this point and I'm telling myself "You can do this."
So what happens next? Tune in next time for the adventures of a mad women.
Don't get me wrong. Darren deserves to get away. I want him to go and enjoy things he likes to do. I by no means want to be that "ball and chain". I'm so grateful that he even considers to ask me before he plans to go out and do things. That's one of the millions of things I love about him. However, back to me and my insanity....
So it doesn't exactly sink in as to what I agreed upon until after I finally get home at 7:30 pm on a Friday might with a hyped up tweener, and twin toddlers that are about to go postal on me if I don't hurry up and get them in their jammies and in bed.
I look around, and the house is quiet...very quiet. I look around some more and there are mounds of laundry...gasp. A little more looking uncovers dishes piled in the sink...eeek! While looking for food, I realize we have slim pickin's and desperation sets in at this point. The tweener and I settle on feasting on easy mac for dinner.
Tweener: "So Mom, are you sure you don't want me to stay with Grandma and Grandpa?"
Me: "Yes, I'm sure. We can do this."
Tweener: "Exactly what do you mean by WE?"
Me: "You, Me and the twins will survive."
Tweener: "Whatever, survival requires food we don't have any good food."
Right. Point taken. So the pantry is a little bare. And, yes, after cleaning out the fridge, there isn't much left in there either. So, I have this brainiac of an idea that I'll show Darren. Not only will I survive this, but I will have the house clean, laundry and dishes done, babies clean and pantry and fridge full with food. Hell, I'll even pick up his suit AND get the car washed and stop at the liquor store. Yea, that will show HIM! Have I mentioned that I'm just slightly INSANE!
So here we are, Saturday morning and the tweener states the obvious.
Tweener: "We don't have any waffles."
Me: "Well, have some cereal then."
Tweener: "We don't have any of that either, you just gave the rest to the twins."
Me: "Well, get some muffins."
Tweener: "Mom, you gave those to the twins last night."
Me: "Well, shit on a stick!"
Ok, I can do this. Just like the little engine that could, that is going to be my mantra for the day. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. So as the twins tear up the house and run around crazy and screaming like banshees, I map out the master plan. I take a look at it and think, it's doable. I can do this!
So, I slam down my reheated by the microwave left over coffee from the day before and tell the tweener, pack it up, we're heading out.
Tweener: "Mom, are you sure about this? Tell me again why we can't just go to grandma's and grandpa's?"
Me: "Shut up and get you brother in the car." "We can do this damn it!"
I swear I hear him mumble something on the lines of "you're freaking crazy", but I can't be 100% sure at this point. My euphoria of me actually attempting to get all this stuff done is overwhelming at this point and I'm telling myself "You can do this."
So what happens next? Tune in next time for the adventures of a mad women.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Sugar and Spice and Everything.....
What are little girls made of? Well, sugar and spice and everything nice.....but NOT my little girl. Tater Tot #3, who is literally the baby of this family by two minutes, is a reincarnation of my Grandma Medina.
Grandma Medina was a 4 foot 9 inch "tell it as she sees it" type of woman. She survived many hardships in life and was a woman way ahead of her time. She out lived the Great Depression, two husbands, and unfortunately a few of her children, but I was lucky enough to spend a majority of my youth and some of my teenage years with her. She was a very amazing woman.
Anyway, our little Emma Elizabeth is quite the character. She's spiteful, holds grudges, she's manipulative, and as soon as she's able to put words and sentences together, lord only knows how creative she will be with the English language. She will be the reason why Darren and I will worry at 11:00 pm wondering where she is on a Saturday night. She will be the reason why Darren will be breaking out his rifle to "clean it".
Yes, our Emma is our little Diva and she expects EVERYONE to acknowledge her as such. If you told me that there was a difference between little boys and little girls (besides the obvious) I would have rolled my eyes and the psychology major in me would come out and say "Oh, no it's not about nature, it's about nuturing and how you treat them." Let me be the first to say "BULL SHIT!" There is nothing and I repeat nothing the same about boys and girls. Tater Tot #3 is our over dramatic, Joan Crawford tempered, little foot stomping baby girl.
She is very much a girlie girl. She LOVES getting dressed in new outfits and will reach for anything that is sparkling. She is very much into the details of her outfit and is fascinated with shoes and coordinating hair bows and pacifiers. She loves purses and can not go without her Hello Kitty lip gloss. I will say that she must have obtained her fashion sense and style from the Reeves' side of the family. Mind you, these are not things that she has been taught by me. I'm a minimalist when it comes to makeup, other than my LV stuff, I'm not really big into purses or lip gloss. And for me, I'm more comfy in one of Darren's t-shirts and warm up pants with my hair up in a ponytail or clip. I have absolutely no idea where in the hell she's developed these traits.
Now, as for her personality, I will take full responsibility for this one. I admit, I over indulge her. I ask for her opinion if she wants to wear something, and if I get a "geeeeeesssssh" I know it meets with her approval. I let her play with my cell phone and even purchased a pink pretend one so she can act like mommy with her phone. I praise her "dancing" and "giggle" as she walks on her tip toes like she has high heels on. She is as stubborn as all get out. Just like me and my Grandma Medina. If you tell her "no" she will do it just out of spite to prove you wrong. If she doesn't like something or someone, it is very clear from the start and there is no doubt as to her displeasure in something. She is a little girl that KNOWS what she wants, and will GET what she wants WHEN she wants it. Yes, that sums me up. Now multiply that times 10 and you have the general idea of what Emma is like.
As poor Darren has stated, "now I know that pay backs are a bitch and they come back two fold. I'm truly sorry for all the shit I did as a kid to my bother, sister and parents. I now know what it was like to live you with you as a kid and I don't know how your parents did it." That's why they stopped at one dear. They stopped at perfection. Just like us. :)
Our baby factory has been permanently closed off and dead bolted shut. We had perfection with the first tater tot, took a risky gamble with tater tots 2 and 3. No more "little perfections" are in our plans. I just felt it was my responsibility to put out this public service announcement to forewarn people of what is on the loose in the world.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
BEWARE! Dark Clouds Follow Me!
Today was the day I've been dreading. Perhaps it's because I was so hopeful that I wouldn't have to experience it again. Perhaps I was living in a world and viewing it with rose colored glasses, maybe I'm just in denial. Regardless, I look on my calendar and there it is. Bright red. MANDATORY RESTRUCTURING CALL - MUST ATTEND - DO NOT SEND A DELEGATE IN YOUR PLACE... Awwwwww crap. No, not again. They promised me that I wouldn't have to deal with this shit for at least 6 months and that there was nothing on the radar with any of the groups that I've been reassigned to.
They lied. My heart just about sank and broke into two. Hearing the news and how many that could potentially be impacted is big. Here's the clencher. The conversation goes like this:
Call Leader - AKA - Boss Lady: Judy? Oh good. We're so glad that you were able to rearrange your scheduled to make this call this afternoon.
Me: Sure, I'm glad that it worked out for all of us to attend this. What's up?
Boss Lady: Well, Judy, we need your assistance and expertise.
Me: Ha, I'm a jack of all trades. I'll pitch in where ever I can. You know that.
Boss Lady: Exactly. I want to give you a stretch role assignment . . .
Oh shit, please no, this can't be good. Can I just start barfing now and maybe they're stop talking and I can avoid them for the next few weeks....
Boss Lady: I'm sure we don't need to enlighten you on how our business is under extrordinary times. Times in which we've never seen before. We've been talking and it's apparent that were are going to need to do a re-evaluation of staff...
Oh shit shit shit! It's me, they're fucking laying me off....
Me: Yes, I'm aware that it will be a continual exercise in which each business function will review it's span of control on a quarterly basis so that the company doesn't face over staffing situations again.
Boss Lady: That's right. We'd like to offer you an opportunity.
Me: What sort of opportunity?
Boss Lady: Well, we'd like for you to be a project lead and complete a span of control analysis, resources analysis, skills review and legal review as well as administer and plan out any job impacted employee discussions.
Me: What? You're kidding right? I've never been that involved in the process like that. I've always been part of the last half and having to deliver the bad news to employees.
Boss Lady: Yes, that's true, but Sr. Leadership feels that you've done exceptionally well and are confident that you are the right person for this assignment after all it pertains to one your your groups.
Me: What group?
Boss Lady: your CMI group. This will mean you potentially could have approximately 200 more impacts.
Me: No, you're kidding right? I'm really not comfortable with this. I really am flattered that you are considering me for this, but I don't think that I can take this on. This is a huge undertaking.
Boss Lady: This is a developmental opportunity for you Judy, I strongly encourage you to embrace this opportunity. I'm confident that you will be successful with this project.
Me: I'm not so confident. What if I screw up or miscalculate something. This involves peoples livelihoods. This is huge!
Boss Lady: I'm glad to hear that you recognize the importance of making sure you have complete and accurate data. Screwing this up is really not an option so it's imparitive that your information is complete, thorough and most importantly accurate.
For a minute there is just silence. I'm trying to absorb the shit bomb that was just thrown my way and thinking of all those people. Oh god, I'm such a shitty person. This so sucks.
Boss Lady: You're going to do fine. Reach out to any resources you might need. We need for this to be calculated, analyzed so that it be presented to the Senior Officers and to the legal review committee by the end of the month.
I just have a sour feeling in my stomach. I just want to throw up. I'm so pissed and angry that I'm having to do this. It's not that I can't do the work. I know that I can figure it out, I know that I'm capable to doing this, the point is that I emotionally don't think that I can go through this again. It seems that each time I get to know and befriend my client groups, I have to lay them off.
Me: Wait, what? By the end of this month? You're kidding right? I honestly don't think I can pull this off. You're asking me to pull off a miracle. I'm fresh out of those.
Boss Lady: Humor. This is good, you're going to need a lot of that to get you through this process. Let me know if you need help with regard to any resources.
me: Yeah, sure, thanks.
Boss Lady: I'm confident that you will do well. We can not afford for you not to. I'll see you on Friday.
I'm in shock, I thinking just shoot me now!!!!
Please God, just let a gun appear in my hand and let it just go off.
I feel terrible that I'm having to do this. Each one of those employees has a story. I may not be able to relate to many of their lifestyles, but I'm not there to judge them on that. As long as they do a good job in servicing the customers and show up to work, I'm thrilled. I'm thinking of all the families that this is going to cause stress and hardship. I'm thinking of all the stress this will put on people, including myself.
Right now, I'm beside myself. I just want to crawl into bed with that groundhog dude and not come out for another 5 weeks. I just want to hide from all of this. Then I look at my family and those 4 wonderful people that look back at me and smile and give me hugs. The two baby tots that scream with excitement for me just walking into the room. The 11 yo tater tot that comes up and says mom, looks like you need a hug. Can I give you one?
And of course there's Darren. He just smiles at me and hands me my drink and says everything is going to be ok. We'll get through this. Darren is right. We'll get through this, I'm just now sure how many more cuts and bruises I'm going to be able to endure before I totally loose it.
Hey, what does kill ya makes you stronger right?
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Reconnection and Suprises
What ever possessed Darren and I to plan our wedding so close to Valentine's Day I will never know. Call it temporary insanity, call it rushing because Darren finally decided to settle down or an opportunity of a lifetime trip,(all of which are true) but our timing could not have been worse.
Every year we face the same dilema; do we celebrate our anniversary on the actual date (February 12th) or wait and celebrate with everyone else who decides to take advantage of all the hoopla and chaos called Valentine's Day. It's always a toss up and sometimes pretty dicey if we don't plan ahead. After our 2nd wedding anniversary debacle, the rule is that if I'm not planning it, I still have the right to veto any choices that are made in my behalf. Me, being the planner that I am, started back in November by researching places we could eat at, fun events we could go to or trips we could take.
So it's not everyday one celebrates their 15th wedding anniversary. At least that was my logic as I planned out our "date". So as I'm researching, I come across this resort in Dallas called The Gaylord Texan Resort.
It took a little convincing, and a lot of tugging on the credit card before Darren finally agreed to the plan. Side bar note: Major kudos to Darren who rolled with punches and didn't complain one bit. At first, Darren did voiced some concern of the things I had planned out for us, but later thought it cool after all was said and done. This place was amazing. The restaurants were fantastic and rooms were nice a big. Upon our arrival, we had flowers and champagne knocking at our door.
We took advantage of everything that came with the package. The meals, the spa, the shopping just enjoying time with each other and finally reconnecting again.
Needless to say that once the twin tots arrived, Darren and I are always on the run. I wouldn't change anything about being blessed with three terrific tater tots, but after a while, even though you're together, you're not really connected or in sync with each other. When we do get the rare opportunity to escape, just the two of us, and especially when the kids are safe and sound spending the night with the grandfolks, it really is a special treat.
Part of us deciding on going to this resort was that we wouldn't buy each other gifts. Our time at this resort was our gift to each other. That was my pitch to Darren to convince him to release the credit card to me. Our time together was amazing. It didn't take long to genuinely smile and laugh about things. It was so great to just have "grown up" talk and "goofiness" The day comes and goes, we enjoy a wonderful dinner and Darren then proclaims that he's got a present for me.
Me:"No presents, we agreed".
Darren:"I know I know, this is something that we both can enjoy."
Me: "Darren, please no toys. We don't need any toys. And no joking. We're not supposed to get each other gifts...we pinky promised.
Darren: "Judes, it's something that I got a couple of weeks ago."
Me: "Does it need batteries?"
Darren: "Technically no, but I know that you will enjoy it and so will I"
So I managed to avoid the gift giving hoping that Darren was just joking with me. The next morning, He confronts me with this HUGE bag. "Open it!" Darren gives me the bag and said "No arguments!"
I open up the bag and........
I burst into tears, Darren laughs at me and I say "you had me believing that you got something else"! Darren is laughing at me and says, "Wow, I didn't know that you like that sort of stuff, but hey, if you're game I'm game." So not funny Mr. Reeves! So another year comes and goes and we have another memory that I can scrapbook about, but most importantly, we were able to reconnect and finally sync up together again. That alone was priceless for us and the best gift of all.
Every year we face the same dilema; do we celebrate our anniversary on the actual date (February 12th) or wait and celebrate with everyone else who decides to take advantage of all the hoopla and chaos called Valentine's Day. It's always a toss up and sometimes pretty dicey if we don't plan ahead. After our 2nd wedding anniversary debacle, the rule is that if I'm not planning it, I still have the right to veto any choices that are made in my behalf. Me, being the planner that I am, started back in November by researching places we could eat at, fun events we could go to or trips we could take.
So it's not everyday one celebrates their 15th wedding anniversary. At least that was my logic as I planned out our "date". So as I'm researching, I come across this resort in Dallas called The Gaylord Texan Resort.
It took a little convincing, and a lot of tugging on the credit card before Darren finally agreed to the plan. Side bar note: Major kudos to Darren who rolled with punches and didn't complain one bit. At first, Darren did voiced some concern of the things I had planned out for us, but later thought it cool after all was said and done. This place was amazing. The restaurants were fantastic and rooms were nice a big. Upon our arrival, we had flowers and champagne knocking at our door.
We took advantage of everything that came with the package. The meals, the spa, the shopping just enjoying time with each other and finally reconnecting again.
Needless to say that once the twin tots arrived, Darren and I are always on the run. I wouldn't change anything about being blessed with three terrific tater tots, but after a while, even though you're together, you're not really connected or in sync with each other. When we do get the rare opportunity to escape, just the two of us, and especially when the kids are safe and sound spending the night with the grandfolks, it really is a special treat.
Part of us deciding on going to this resort was that we wouldn't buy each other gifts. Our time at this resort was our gift to each other. That was my pitch to Darren to convince him to release the credit card to me. Our time together was amazing. It didn't take long to genuinely smile and laugh about things. It was so great to just have "grown up" talk and "goofiness" The day comes and goes, we enjoy a wonderful dinner and Darren then proclaims that he's got a present for me.
Me:"No presents, we agreed".
Darren:"I know I know, this is something that we both can enjoy."
Me: "Darren, please no toys. We don't need any toys. And no joking. We're not supposed to get each other gifts...we pinky promised.
Darren: "Judes, it's something that I got a couple of weeks ago."
Me: "Does it need batteries?"
Darren: "Technically no, but I know that you will enjoy it and so will I"
So I managed to avoid the gift giving hoping that Darren was just joking with me. The next morning, He confronts me with this HUGE bag. "Open it!" Darren gives me the bag and said "No arguments!"
I open up the bag and........
I burst into tears, Darren laughs at me and I say "you had me believing that you got something else"! Darren is laughing at me and says, "Wow, I didn't know that you like that sort of stuff, but hey, if you're game I'm game." So not funny Mr. Reeves! So another year comes and goes and we have another memory that I can scrapbook about, but most importantly, we were able to reconnect and finally sync up together again. That alone was priceless for us and the best gift of all.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
After All These Years
With each year that passes by, I’m always amazed with how Darren hasn’t walked away from all the chaos, craziness and stress that I cause him. Darren and I have a LONG history together. Many said it would never amount to anything. A few even prayed that it wouldn’t amount to anything. Somehow, Darren and I have managed to beat the odds and we’re still together and crazy in love with each other.
Darren and I met in high school. It was the summer of his junior year and my senior year. (Just for the record, yes I’m older than him by ONLY 24 days) My best friend had this “rocky” relationship with this creep. She always had to give me all the gory details and play by play on what they did together and what horrible things he said to her. When they “broke up” I was the one to talk her into giving it another try. With each “break up” they had, I started to dislike this guy more and more. When I finally met this creep of a boyfriend of hers, it was the summer of '84. Let's just say that I wasn’t too impressed with him. In fact, this guy named “Darren” and I exchanged a few choice words at each other and it was pretty clear that his feelings for me were the same. We did NOT care for one another. Regardless, I tolerated this guy because it appeared that, for whatever god forsaken reason, my best friend “loved him”. *gag*. As far as I was concerned, he was a jerk and continuously broke up with my best friend. I thought was an arrogant cowboy who thought he was too cool to deal with his girl friend's best friend and thought of me as a third wheel.. and a bitch as well.
The last fight between my best friend and "The Creep" was actually different. This time, my best friend refused to talk to me about what happened and said that she never wanted to get back together with Darren. She said that the “long distance” was an issue and she has moved on. Mind you, my best friend and I went to the same school and "The Creep" went to the rival school, but we were only 8 miles apart from each other.
Secretly I was THRILLED. I thought to myself Hot Damn! I wouldn’t have to deal with "The Creep" in her life any longer. Most importantly I wouldn't be blown off by my best friend whenever "The Creep" decided they were going out. *best friend’s heartbreak = me getting my best friend back yeah*
I’m not exactly sure how he got my phone number, but out of the blue I started getting calls from "The Creep". At first, I just ignored them. I wouldn’t answer the phone or didn’t return the calls. It wasn’t until my dad yelled that if I didn’t tell this guy to stop calling, he would. So, wanting to spare "The Creep" the wrath of my dad, I finally picked up the phone. I figured, if nothing else, I would hurl some insulting names at him for breaking up with my best friend. I had it all planned out. I was going to tell him “you suck, stop calling me, she’s moved on and doesn’t want you back and I’m NOT going to get you two back together again. Thanks for playing, bye!” Instead, before I could say anything, Darren says “I really need to talk to you.”
Me: *in a real sarcastic and hostile tone* “What!? Talk about what? About what you did to my best friend? What in the hell do you need to talk to me about?”
This time, "The Creep" explained to me that it wasn’t him that broke it off, it was my best friend and that he’s tired of the rollercoaster relationship that they’ve been on for the last few months. Then he drops the Hiroshima of bombs on me.
Darren: “Judy, I was kind of thinking that maybe you and I could go out…just to talk.”
Me: “What?! Are you crazy? No, I won’t go out with you.
Darren: “Why, I’m not that bad of a guy and I promise I’m up to date on all my shots.”
Me: “No way. You’re my best friend’s boyfriend...”
Darren: “EX boyfriend”
Me: “Like I said, you’re my best friend’s boyfriend, be it present or past. I can’t go out with you. It's against the code.”
For the next month, and I’m not exaggerating, Darren called me every night. Our conversations started to last longer, and eventually got civilized at some point. Every night the call ended with the same discussion. “C’mon Judes, just meet me somewhere. It’s not a date if we meet somewhere and we each pay for our own way.” I finally broke down and met him at Braum’s. That was in the fall of 1984. By 1/1/85, we were a couple.
I lost my best friend and of course my reputation during my senior year tanked because I did the unthinkable. By the time the rumor got back to me I apparently “stole” my best friend’s boyfriend and I bragged about how good he was in the sack. WHATEVER! Just for the record, I was a “good girl” and never did anything like that….at least not while I was in high school.
It didn’t matter to me though. As Darren and I dated, I realized that he wasn’t the arrogant cowboy or the tyrant that he was made out to be by my former best friend. In fact, Darren was hilarious. He always made me laugh and was able to somehow get me to let my guard down with him. He was thoughtful and sweet. He would take me to see the “chick flicks” and never complain about the movie, only the prices that he had to pay for it. He would always look out for me and make sure that I was happy and I enjoyed my time with him. He gave me goose bumps and butterflies when I saw him. Whatever I wanted to do, he was cool with. He was (and still is) a gentleman. He became my best friend. He was (and still is) a little frugal, but THAT is another blog in itself.
Twenty four years later, Darren and I are still “dating”. He still makes me laugh, he still gives me goose bumps and butterflies…and most importantly, he’s still my best friend. On 1/1/85 we shared our first “real” kiss as a couple. On 2/12/94 we shared our first “real” kiss as man and wife. He’s the best thing that has ever happened in my life and I'm so grateful that he's put up with my drama and makes me laugh about it. He is the cheese to my macaroni. Happy Anniversary D. I love you!
Darren and I met in high school. It was the summer of his junior year and my senior year. (Just for the record, yes I’m older than him by ONLY 24 days) My best friend had this “rocky” relationship with this creep. She always had to give me all the gory details and play by play on what they did together and what horrible things he said to her. When they “broke up” I was the one to talk her into giving it another try. With each “break up” they had, I started to dislike this guy more and more. When I finally met this creep of a boyfriend of hers, it was the summer of '84. Let's just say that I wasn’t too impressed with him. In fact, this guy named “Darren” and I exchanged a few choice words at each other and it was pretty clear that his feelings for me were the same. We did NOT care for one another. Regardless, I tolerated this guy because it appeared that, for whatever god forsaken reason, my best friend “loved him”. *gag*. As far as I was concerned, he was a jerk and continuously broke up with my best friend. I thought was an arrogant cowboy who thought he was too cool to deal with his girl friend's best friend and thought of me as a third wheel.. and a bitch as well.
The last fight between my best friend and "The Creep" was actually different. This time, my best friend refused to talk to me about what happened and said that she never wanted to get back together with Darren. She said that the “long distance” was an issue and she has moved on. Mind you, my best friend and I went to the same school and "The Creep" went to the rival school, but we were only 8 miles apart from each other.
Secretly I was THRILLED. I thought to myself Hot Damn! I wouldn’t have to deal with "The Creep" in her life any longer. Most importantly I wouldn't be blown off by my best friend whenever "The Creep" decided they were going out. *best friend’s heartbreak = me getting my best friend back yeah*
I’m not exactly sure how he got my phone number, but out of the blue I started getting calls from "The Creep". At first, I just ignored them. I wouldn’t answer the phone or didn’t return the calls. It wasn’t until my dad yelled that if I didn’t tell this guy to stop calling, he would. So, wanting to spare "The Creep" the wrath of my dad, I finally picked up the phone. I figured, if nothing else, I would hurl some insulting names at him for breaking up with my best friend. I had it all planned out. I was going to tell him “you suck, stop calling me, she’s moved on and doesn’t want you back and I’m NOT going to get you two back together again. Thanks for playing, bye!” Instead, before I could say anything, Darren says “I really need to talk to you.”
Me: *in a real sarcastic and hostile tone* “What!? Talk about what? About what you did to my best friend? What in the hell do you need to talk to me about?”
This time, "The Creep" explained to me that it wasn’t him that broke it off, it was my best friend and that he’s tired of the rollercoaster relationship that they’ve been on for the last few months. Then he drops the Hiroshima of bombs on me.
Darren: “Judy, I was kind of thinking that maybe you and I could go out…just to talk.”
Me: “What?! Are you crazy? No, I won’t go out with you.
Darren: “Why, I’m not that bad of a guy and I promise I’m up to date on all my shots.”
Me: “No way. You’re my best friend’s boyfriend...”
Darren: “EX boyfriend”
Me: “Like I said, you’re my best friend’s boyfriend, be it present or past. I can’t go out with you. It's against the code.”
For the next month, and I’m not exaggerating, Darren called me every night. Our conversations started to last longer, and eventually got civilized at some point. Every night the call ended with the same discussion. “C’mon Judes, just meet me somewhere. It’s not a date if we meet somewhere and we each pay for our own way.” I finally broke down and met him at Braum’s. That was in the fall of 1984. By 1/1/85, we were a couple.
I lost my best friend and of course my reputation during my senior year tanked because I did the unthinkable. By the time the rumor got back to me I apparently “stole” my best friend’s boyfriend and I bragged about how good he was in the sack. WHATEVER! Just for the record, I was a “good girl” and never did anything like that….at least not while I was in high school.
It didn’t matter to me though. As Darren and I dated, I realized that he wasn’t the arrogant cowboy or the tyrant that he was made out to be by my former best friend. In fact, Darren was hilarious. He always made me laugh and was able to somehow get me to let my guard down with him. He was thoughtful and sweet. He would take me to see the “chick flicks” and never complain about the movie, only the prices that he had to pay for it. He would always look out for me and make sure that I was happy and I enjoyed my time with him. He gave me goose bumps and butterflies when I saw him. Whatever I wanted to do, he was cool with. He was (and still is) a gentleman. He became my best friend. He was (and still is) a little frugal, but THAT is another blog in itself.
Twenty four years later, Darren and I are still “dating”. He still makes me laugh, he still gives me goose bumps and butterflies…and most importantly, he’s still my best friend. On 1/1/85 we shared our first “real” kiss as a couple. On 2/12/94 we shared our first “real” kiss as man and wife. He’s the best thing that has ever happened in my life and I'm so grateful that he's put up with my drama and makes me laugh about it. He is the cheese to my macaroni. Happy Anniversary D. I love you!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Pickles
Back in November 08, my HR Director had this brilliant idea of gathering all of the HRG’s and HR Specialists in the DFW area and centralize us all in one building, one floor, ONE ROOM. Sounds great in theory, but not so great for those of us that deal with a lot of confidential crap, like investigations, employees bitching, compensation issues ect. Not to mention all of the conference calls that we’re on to determine who will get laid off and who won’t.
In my humble opinion, all HRG’s should have offices, however, no one asked for my opinion so I’ll eventually get over that pain with the help of appletini’s and from my therapist. Moving us all together caused a major train wreck within our department. All of the HRG’s, including myself, were bitter about having to move from our nice big offices with windows to this tiny 7 x 7 cubicle. All of the HR specialists were pissed because they couldn’t avoid our calls any longer when we needed them to fix payroll issues.
I guess it’s not as bad for me as it is for others. At least now I have to support groups in different office buildings and the business leaders in those groups INSISTED that HR have an office, so of the 3 businesses I support, I’ve got a nice big office at 2 different buildings. So what do I have to bitch about? Well, my boss lady INSISTS that I spend at least one day in the office being subjected to the chaos and madness there. In addition, if needed, I will need to ensure that my schedule is flexible in which I can attend functional meetings there in person and still maintain the “peer relationships” that are crucial to being successful. WHATEVER! So, I’ve managed to convince my manager that I will spend a TOTAL of one day there. Even though it’s only for ½ a day on two different days, that’s a hell of a lot better then having to be there an entire day. Usually once you get sucked into the drama of that office and you can’t escape from it and often that’s the case for me.
As you might already know, I’m an only child and I’m rather picky about things. Just ask Darren and my therapist. I don’t share well and I don’t like people invading my space. (Unless I know you and than it’s ok) When we moved into our new “cubes” I was escorted to my new home and introduced to my cube mate “Deonica”. The admin explained that Deonica was working in HR on a contract basis to assist the specialists with a project. WHATEVER! I’m not the most social person, especially if I don’t know you at all, so I go about my business and start figuring out how I’m going to stuff 8 crates of files, information, and training manuals that I’ve accumulated for 5 years in my 2 dinky file drawers. Little did I realize Deonica had “issues”. She liked to talk on her cell phone… a lot. She liked to talk on her desk phone. . . A lot. She liked to visit with her other contractor friends… a lot. She liked to bring snacks to work . . . A LOT. She had a fondness of pickles in particular. Now, pickles don’t necessary offend me, however, please note that smelling pickles ALL DAY will get on my nerves. This, in combination of her taking off her shoes in the late afternoon gave me some angst! Every time I came into the department, it REAKED of pickles and stinky feet. Now, I’m thinking ok, she’s pregnant, give her a break. But there comes a time, whether someone is pregnant or not, you draw the line. I got tired of listening to Deonica A.K.A. “Pickles” discussing with her pals whether “Luscious” would be a good name for her baby. I didn’t particularly care for her conversation about how her project apartment was much better then her baby’s daddy’s project apartment. I didn’t enjoy her yelling at the other person she was speaking to on her phone why there was only “.38 cents left in her bank account.” I could go on and on, and I did on Twitter. But eventually, not only did my patience wear thin; patience with her wore thin with everyone else in the department as well.
It wasn’t until I came back to my office after being away for a few days and find my desk in shambles, everything rearranged, and a spilled coke all over my desk thus ruining my pictures of my beloved tater tot’s did I declared war! Common cube courtesy is NOT to assume that my stuff is your stuff, and that my space is there for you to rearrange, mess up and ruin someone else’s belongings…ESPECIALLY MINE!
I was pissed beyond belief and she just sat there acting like I was being rude for expressing my opinion of the rude people who sat at my desk and didn’t have the courtesy to leave it as they found it! So after cleaning up my desk because her rude pals decided to party on it, I noticed that she had her radio on a rap station. Hmmmm. So, I break out the iPod and I find some Barry Manilow and play it loudly on my iPod speakers. I continue with the audio assaults with some Neil Diamond and Olivia Newton-John as well. Soon the department formed and alliance and most everyone was in on it. The HRG that sat around the corner came up to me and said “I’m gonna top your audio assault. Watch this.” Pickles was away from her desk and my alliance partner places an air freshener right next to her open pickle jar! Others started jumping in with candles and air freshener sprays. I could tell we were getting to her because she would start leaving for “breaks” and lunches. Finally one day, Pickles stop showing up. Found out later that baby “Luscious” arrived and she was out. HOOOOORAAAAAY! It took two weeks just to air out the department and get it smelling normal again.
It wasn’t until Wednesday, that I realize how fast 6 weeks go by. I walk into the department. *sniff sniff* What’s that smell? Oh shit, Pickles! I start thinking to myself that I’m not gonna get through this day without some major doses of “fuckitall” today. Maybe this is just a bad acid trip or I’m having a nightmare. I’m slowly walking down the aisle towards my cube and out comes my former alliance partner. “Oh HELL no. She is NOT gonna sit by us!” she whispers. I whisper back “Who in the HELL asked her to come back? I thought she was a contractor and went off to have her baby?” Alliance partner responds with “Oh shit, damn it, no way. She’s not gonna be my specialist” I whisper back, “well I sure as hell don’t want her much less share a cube with the bitch!” I slowly continue my walk down the aisle and there she is and there are those fucking pickles. So here’s the conversation:
Pickles: “Hey Girlfriend!”
Me: “ummmm, hi”
Pickles: betcha thought you’d neva git to see me no mo huh?
Me: “ummmm, yea. I thought you left to have your baby. I think the project that you were working is complete now.”
Pickles: “sho is girlfriend, now they got me working on another project. Can you believe that shit?”
Me: “ummmm, no, I can’t”
So, pickles is back in my life, making everything stink like pickles and stinky feet and I’m having to deal with all the annoying things that pickles dishes out. I’m grateful I only have to see her once or twice a week. I'm not looking forward to going into the office tomorrow for fear of what's been done to/on my desk and the smell of pickles. I pray that I won't get stuck there for the entire day and I pray that her project gets completed quickly. I’m not sure how long I can hold my mouth shut and say something extremely inappropriate. Wish me luck, I’m gonna need it.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Pulling Rank
If you follow me on Twitter, then you probably already know I vent. I vent A LOT. If I were to tell you that my employer turns perfectly well adjusted people into mean spirited, bitter people, I don't think many people would disagree with me. This workplace will eat you up alive, then spit you out. If you don't keep up with all changes in practices, philosophies or policies of the moment, you're doomed. I can handle change well. It's when people try to manipulate the changes to suit their own managerial needs that I have issues with them.
Right now we're going through our Non-Exempt performance reviews. About 75% of the workforce that I support fall in this category. For the most part, managers value HR opinions and suggestions. Hell, I've got some managers that refuse to make any decision unless they consult the "HR Wizard behind the curtain".
Today I was stuck in conference call hell. I swear I was going through the Ground Hog day movie experience and kept reliving the same situations and conversations with each conference call I got on. Well, by the last call today, I had reached my limit of me preaching "Management should be conservative and make sure we meet our ranking percentage distribution model."
That's where Carlos comes into play. Carlos is one of my Unit Managers. He's your traditional short Mexican with the "don't tell me what to do because I know it all" kind of guy. I can say this because I am Mexican! Anyway, Carlos picked the wrong day to start in with me. Carlos has a tendency to challenge anything that he doesn't support. This is good, but now a days at my company, it's not the attitude to have.
So the conversation on the conference call goes like this:
Carlos: I'm not buying into why we need to be conservative and meet ranking percentages as HR says.
DEAD SILENCE
Me: Excuse me, Carlos, I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly, can you please repeat that?
Carlos: I said Ms. Reeves....
Operations Manager cuts him off - this is Carlos' boss: Carlos, I don't think Judy is here to tell us what to do, she's here to help guide us and clarify what is supposed to be considered when we're reviewing and evaluating staff rankings. She's not....
Carlos: cutting off his boss: Yea, well I know and have had my experiences with HR and I know my staff better than Ms Reeves ever will, so she should have no say or recommendation as to my staff rankings.
AGAIN, DEAD SILENCE.
Me: So Carlos, just so that I'm clear as to what you are saying, because you are far more Superior than anyone in HR could ever aspire to be, you will not listen to any input or suggestions that I might have for you. Is that correct?
Carlos: Yes, now If I may . . .
Me: No Carlos, you may not!
Carlos continues to talk over me and basically tells the group that his staff ratings will not be changing no matter what anyone else says. He continues on by saying that he will not sacrifice any of his ratings because his team is nothing but winners and a reflection of him.
OM: So Carlos, please enlighten us on your ratings and to why they are on a higher pedestal than the rest of their peers.
Carlos: Basically it's like this, I have worked hard with each member of my team so that they are all performing on an exceptional level of competency.
Me: Really? You really think that no one on your staff has an attendance problem? You truly believe no one on your team has ever had a single quality error for the entire year. You're telling me that you have never been in my office wanting to fire someone because they just weren't working out?
Carlos: Ms. Reeves. Please stick with your HR knowledge when asked for it. I'm presenting facts, not the fantasy utopia of HR.
This is where I completely loose it!!!!
Me: Tell you what Carlos I appreciate you clearly stating your moronic statement in front of your manager and your peers and I can assure you that I will take your concern and opinion of HR to your Director to discuss this matter further with him.
OM: Carlos, I don't think you want to alienate our HR partner in this. She's been very insightful and I insist that you at least do her the courtesy of hearing her out.
Carlos: My ratings speak for themselves. I will not be changing any of them.
Carlos proceeded to challenge me on each and every staff rating I questioned. I gave his absenteeism ratings, I gave them previous assessment ratings and I even let him know that his perfect team members have come to me expressing their concern of his management practices and favoritism. Carlos, would not budge.
Finally I had to go there.
Me: Look Carlos, if you really want to play this game, we will. You are being disrespectful, insubordinate and resistant to everything I have to say. You need not listen to me, but at the end of the day, your ratings are submitted to me and guess what, they're changing! They're changing to what falls with in guidelines and ultimately, I will determine what the appropriate ratings will be.
Carlos: You can't do that!
OM: Watch her Carlos. She can, she will and she has both the Director's and my full support in this matter!
What an asshole Carlos made himself out to be. I hate having to pull the rank on people. It's just not my style. In fact, this is the first time I actually pulled rank on anyone so I'm quite proud of myself for doing it. I'm just pissed that I let some jerk get to me to a point where I stooped as low as he did and fought back. Oh well. I got the final say in it.
So Carlos, stick that in your juice box and suck it. Suck it hard Trebec! You're next on my hit list in finding a reason to fire you!
Right now we're going through our Non-Exempt performance reviews. About 75% of the workforce that I support fall in this category. For the most part, managers value HR opinions and suggestions. Hell, I've got some managers that refuse to make any decision unless they consult the "HR Wizard behind the curtain".
Today I was stuck in conference call hell. I swear I was going through the Ground Hog day movie experience and kept reliving the same situations and conversations with each conference call I got on. Well, by the last call today, I had reached my limit of me preaching "Management should be conservative and make sure we meet our ranking percentage distribution model."
That's where Carlos comes into play. Carlos is one of my Unit Managers. He's your traditional short Mexican with the "don't tell me what to do because I know it all" kind of guy. I can say this because I am Mexican! Anyway, Carlos picked the wrong day to start in with me. Carlos has a tendency to challenge anything that he doesn't support. This is good, but now a days at my company, it's not the attitude to have.
So the conversation on the conference call goes like this:
Carlos: I'm not buying into why we need to be conservative and meet ranking percentages as HR says.
DEAD SILENCE
Me: Excuse me, Carlos, I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly, can you please repeat that?
Carlos: I said Ms. Reeves....
Operations Manager cuts him off - this is Carlos' boss: Carlos, I don't think Judy is here to tell us what to do, she's here to help guide us and clarify what is supposed to be considered when we're reviewing and evaluating staff rankings. She's not....
Carlos: cutting off his boss: Yea, well I know and have had my experiences with HR and I know my staff better than Ms Reeves ever will, so she should have no say or recommendation as to my staff rankings.
AGAIN, DEAD SILENCE.
Me: So Carlos, just so that I'm clear as to what you are saying, because you are far more Superior than anyone in HR could ever aspire to be, you will not listen to any input or suggestions that I might have for you. Is that correct?
Carlos: Yes, now If I may . . .
Me: No Carlos, you may not!
Carlos continues to talk over me and basically tells the group that his staff ratings will not be changing no matter what anyone else says. He continues on by saying that he will not sacrifice any of his ratings because his team is nothing but winners and a reflection of him.
OM: So Carlos, please enlighten us on your ratings and to why they are on a higher pedestal than the rest of their peers.
Carlos: Basically it's like this, I have worked hard with each member of my team so that they are all performing on an exceptional level of competency.
Me: Really? You really think that no one on your staff has an attendance problem? You truly believe no one on your team has ever had a single quality error for the entire year. You're telling me that you have never been in my office wanting to fire someone because they just weren't working out?
Carlos: Ms. Reeves. Please stick with your HR knowledge when asked for it. I'm presenting facts, not the fantasy utopia of HR.
This is where I completely loose it!!!!
Me: Tell you what Carlos I appreciate you clearly stating your moronic statement in front of your manager and your peers and I can assure you that I will take your concern and opinion of HR to your Director to discuss this matter further with him.
OM: Carlos, I don't think you want to alienate our HR partner in this. She's been very insightful and I insist that you at least do her the courtesy of hearing her out.
Carlos: My ratings speak for themselves. I will not be changing any of them.
Carlos proceeded to challenge me on each and every staff rating I questioned. I gave his absenteeism ratings, I gave them previous assessment ratings and I even let him know that his perfect team members have come to me expressing their concern of his management practices and favoritism. Carlos, would not budge.
Finally I had to go there.
Me: Look Carlos, if you really want to play this game, we will. You are being disrespectful, insubordinate and resistant to everything I have to say. You need not listen to me, but at the end of the day, your ratings are submitted to me and guess what, they're changing! They're changing to what falls with in guidelines and ultimately, I will determine what the appropriate ratings will be.
Carlos: You can't do that!
OM: Watch her Carlos. She can, she will and she has both the Director's and my full support in this matter!
What an asshole Carlos made himself out to be. I hate having to pull the rank on people. It's just not my style. In fact, this is the first time I actually pulled rank on anyone so I'm quite proud of myself for doing it. I'm just pissed that I let some jerk get to me to a point where I stooped as low as he did and fought back. Oh well. I got the final say in it.
So Carlos, stick that in your juice box and suck it. Suck it hard Trebec! You're next on my hit list in finding a reason to fire you!
Friday, January 30, 2009
My Misfortune with Pets
Ever since I could remember, I’ve always had a pet. Be it a dog, cat or imaginary friends that bark, I always had a pet. With the exception of snakes, farm animals, geese or endangered wild life, chances are good that I’ve either had one or know someone that did! In my lifetime, I’ve had dogs, cats, hamsters, guinea pigs, birds, fish, hermit crabs, frogs and newts.
I won’t bore you with the names and stories behind each pet I’ve ever had, rather, I’ll share with you a few that hold a special place in my heart.
I’ll start with Beau. Beau was a bird. A parrot actually. He was cool…when I got him. Over the years though, Beau starting getting a little bit of an attitude. So, when I left for college, my parents made it very clear that the bird was going with me. That should have been my first clue. Beau had a strange habit. He liked to screech. I know that what parrot’s are suppose to do….but he usually did this in the morning. EARLY in the morning. Beau’s behavior got worse as my college years continued. By my senior year, the bird was out of control. After an all nighter of drunk-studying for an exam, hearing this beast scream defined obnoxious. When Darren moved in, life got bad for Beau. Beau’s nice brass cage became a target for us to throw anything we could get our hands on when he started screeching. “Shut your beak Beau!” “Beau, shut the fuck up you stupid sorry excuse for a parrot!” His cage got beaten up a lot, but held up well considering the hundreds of shoes and books thrown at it. I eventually sold the bird and Darren celebrated that day.
My love for animals continued to grow and so did my acquisitions. I eventually landed a job at Petsmart so that I could afford to feed them all and get discounts on pet food and supplies. That’s when the Fish, Newts and Frogs came into play. I once had this really cool fish called a silver arawana. When I bought this fish it was as small as a guppy, but grew so big that it could barely turn in the 55 gallon tank he was in. Anyway, this fish ate at least 12 goldfish every other day. It was THE entertainment of the evening when it was feeding time for Art the silver arawana. My best friend would say, “Judes, DON”T feed the silver iguana before I get there. I want to watch him eat.” “It’s a silver arawana Cris.” “Whatever don’t feed the iguana till I get there!” Art was sold for $50 bucks when he kept popping out of the tank every evening with several dictionaries holding down the tank lid. Again, Darren celebrated that day.
Newts were cool until Fred and Ethel escaped their tank one day. It wasn’t until I was doing my spring cleaning did I come across Fred and Ethel’s demise. I found the poor dried out petrified things in the sliding glass door track. Very unfortunate, but once again, Darren celebrated that day.
So, what does one do after experiencing a tragic loss like Fred and Ethel? You get FROGS of course! I had cool fire bellied frogs, I had cool blue frogs and I had a REALLY cool Dumpy Frog too. Yes, there are such things as Dumpy frogs…Google it! Now frogs, as everyone knows like bugs. In particular meal worms and LOTS of crickets. My Dumpy frog was a little bit persnickety, and preferred to be hand fed, which I gladly did. Well, one day, I was at work and I remembered that I had forgotten to feed my frog babies. So I quickly call Darren, who was off that day and asked him to feed them.
Darren: “Ok, if you insist. Where’s the food?”
Me: “It’s under the tank.”
Darren: “Judes, there’s a container of crickets under the tank, where’s the frog food?”
Me: “THAT IS the frog food. Just give them a few. Gotta run. Love ya!” Click….
I come home from work later that evening and happen to glance over to my beloved frogs and my Dumpy frog looked a little odd. He was just sitting there, looking kind of, well, weird. I think to myself, “hmmm, unusual, but hell, he’s probably having a great dream about girl frogs.”
The next morning I get up and while making the coffee I look over at my beloved Dumpy frog. GASP… he is upside down floating in his little pond and looking a little ridged too! The conversation then took a turn for the worse at this point.
Me: “Darren! Darren, come quick! My frog! What happened to my frog?” Darren runs into the room and has this wide eyed deer in the headlight look. “Darren, what the hell did you do to my FROG?”
Darren: “Judes, what the hell was I supposed to do? The fucking frog attacked me!”
Me: “What?!? The damn thing is smaller than a golf ball, how in the hell could it attack you?”
Darren: “Well Judes, as soon as I opened up the tank to give them the bugs, they came hopping out from everywhere and that frog mistook my finger for a bug and chomped down on it!”
Me: “yea, you’re supposed to hand feed the Dumpy frog.”
Darren: “You didn’t fucking tell me that you hand fed the fucking frog. You left THAT fucking detail out!”
Me: “Yea, well that doesn’t explain why my frog is dead. What did you do to it?”
Darren: “I wasn’t expecting the little fucker to chomp down on my finger and I yanked my hand out of the tank with the frog still on my finger. He flung across the room and hit the window. I didn’t think he got hurt or anything. He was hoping like crazy when I tried to catch him and get him back in the tank.”
Me: “You flung my defenseless frog from across the room so hard that it slams upside a window and you DIDN’T think it got hurt? Darren, you probably gave him a concussion or something!”
Darren: “Well it serves the little fucker right. If it couldn’t tell the difference between my finger and a bug then it deserved to die.”
Darren didn’t celebrate this day. May my little Dumpy frog rest in peace in little froggie heaven. *sniff*
We have managed to have many other pets since and they all lived a very happy, healthy and safe life with us until they decided to move on to heavenly pastures. I’ve learned over the years, however, that the survival rate for aquatic animals is not very high in our household. Right now as I type this, there is a poor beta fish and hermit crab suffering despite my eldest tater tot telling me that they are supposed to look fuzzy because they are “molting”. I hope that he comes to grip with reality soon!
I won’t bore you with the names and stories behind each pet I’ve ever had, rather, I’ll share with you a few that hold a special place in my heart.
I’ll start with Beau. Beau was a bird. A parrot actually. He was cool…when I got him. Over the years though, Beau starting getting a little bit of an attitude. So, when I left for college, my parents made it very clear that the bird was going with me. That should have been my first clue. Beau had a strange habit. He liked to screech. I know that what parrot’s are suppose to do….but he usually did this in the morning. EARLY in the morning. Beau’s behavior got worse as my college years continued. By my senior year, the bird was out of control. After an all nighter of drunk-studying for an exam, hearing this beast scream defined obnoxious. When Darren moved in, life got bad for Beau. Beau’s nice brass cage became a target for us to throw anything we could get our hands on when he started screeching. “Shut your beak Beau!” “Beau, shut the fuck up you stupid sorry excuse for a parrot!” His cage got beaten up a lot, but held up well considering the hundreds of shoes and books thrown at it. I eventually sold the bird and Darren celebrated that day.
My love for animals continued to grow and so did my acquisitions. I eventually landed a job at Petsmart so that I could afford to feed them all and get discounts on pet food and supplies. That’s when the Fish, Newts and Frogs came into play. I once had this really cool fish called a silver arawana. When I bought this fish it was as small as a guppy, but grew so big that it could barely turn in the 55 gallon tank he was in. Anyway, this fish ate at least 12 goldfish every other day. It was THE entertainment of the evening when it was feeding time for Art the silver arawana. My best friend would say, “Judes, DON”T feed the silver iguana before I get there. I want to watch him eat.” “It’s a silver arawana Cris.” “Whatever don’t feed the iguana till I get there!” Art was sold for $50 bucks when he kept popping out of the tank every evening with several dictionaries holding down the tank lid. Again, Darren celebrated that day.
Newts were cool until Fred and Ethel escaped their tank one day. It wasn’t until I was doing my spring cleaning did I come across Fred and Ethel’s demise. I found the poor dried out petrified things in the sliding glass door track. Very unfortunate, but once again, Darren celebrated that day.
So, what does one do after experiencing a tragic loss like Fred and Ethel? You get FROGS of course! I had cool fire bellied frogs, I had cool blue frogs and I had a REALLY cool Dumpy Frog too. Yes, there are such things as Dumpy frogs…Google it! Now frogs, as everyone knows like bugs. In particular meal worms and LOTS of crickets. My Dumpy frog was a little bit persnickety, and preferred to be hand fed, which I gladly did. Well, one day, I was at work and I remembered that I had forgotten to feed my frog babies. So I quickly call Darren, who was off that day and asked him to feed them.
Darren: “Ok, if you insist. Where’s the food?”
Me: “It’s under the tank.”
Darren: “Judes, there’s a container of crickets under the tank, where’s the frog food?”
Me: “THAT IS the frog food. Just give them a few. Gotta run. Love ya!” Click….
I come home from work later that evening and happen to glance over to my beloved frogs and my Dumpy frog looked a little odd. He was just sitting there, looking kind of, well, weird. I think to myself, “hmmm, unusual, but hell, he’s probably having a great dream about girl frogs.”
The next morning I get up and while making the coffee I look over at my beloved Dumpy frog. GASP… he is upside down floating in his little pond and looking a little ridged too! The conversation then took a turn for the worse at this point.
Me: “Darren! Darren, come quick! My frog! What happened to my frog?” Darren runs into the room and has this wide eyed deer in the headlight look. “Darren, what the hell did you do to my FROG?”
Darren: “Judes, what the hell was I supposed to do? The fucking frog attacked me!”
Me: “What?!? The damn thing is smaller than a golf ball, how in the hell could it attack you?”
Darren: “Well Judes, as soon as I opened up the tank to give them the bugs, they came hopping out from everywhere and that frog mistook my finger for a bug and chomped down on it!”
Me: “yea, you’re supposed to hand feed the Dumpy frog.”
Darren: “You didn’t fucking tell me that you hand fed the fucking frog. You left THAT fucking detail out!”
Me: “Yea, well that doesn’t explain why my frog is dead. What did you do to it?”
Darren: “I wasn’t expecting the little fucker to chomp down on my finger and I yanked my hand out of the tank with the frog still on my finger. He flung across the room and hit the window. I didn’t think he got hurt or anything. He was hoping like crazy when I tried to catch him and get him back in the tank.”
Me: “You flung my defenseless frog from across the room so hard that it slams upside a window and you DIDN’T think it got hurt? Darren, you probably gave him a concussion or something!”
Darren: “Well it serves the little fucker right. If it couldn’t tell the difference between my finger and a bug then it deserved to die.”
Darren didn’t celebrate this day. May my little Dumpy frog rest in peace in little froggie heaven. *sniff*
We have managed to have many other pets since and they all lived a very happy, healthy and safe life with us until they decided to move on to heavenly pastures. I’ve learned over the years, however, that the survival rate for aquatic animals is not very high in our household. Right now as I type this, there is a poor beta fish and hermit crab suffering despite my eldest tater tot telling me that they are supposed to look fuzzy because they are “molting”. I hope that he comes to grip with reality soon!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Neurosis
So if you have taken the time to actually read my blog, you might have come across the List of 25 things about me. You might think to yourself is she really THAT neurotic? Answer: YES! I blame most of my neurosis on my up bringing and interesting childhood experiences.
So,you might ask yourself, what the heck is the deal with you and clowns? Well it's quite simple really. When I was little, I was petrified of thunderstorms and lightening. (It might have been when my Mom and I got stuck on the highway and we had to abandon the car and run into a Denny's Bathroom as a tornado literally headed towards us). Anyway, when I was little, a really bad summer thunderstorm blew in late one night. Every time it lightening outside, I could see my entire room light up. Well, it just so happened that I actually liked clowns when I was little and had quite the collection of them. Earlier in the evening, I had placed this clown with a really weird smile on my dresser facing my cute little pink princess canopy bed. Every time the lightening flashed I swear to god I could see that stupid clown doll inch it's way towards me. I got over the fear of storms. In fact, now, I LOVE storms. Clowns however, still creep me out.
So what's up with the Snoopy thing? Well my response to you would be that Snoopy is a fucking pervert in a costume! Here's some advice to anyone who has the misfortune of aspiring to dress up in a Snoopy costume for a living: DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT sneak up behind 4 yr old little girls, tap them on the shoulder causing her to literally pee her pants in horror when she turns around and sees you! Yes, that is why I don't care for Snoopy. My poor mother had to whisk me out of the Dolly Madison bread store, as I was screaming bloody murder, throw me in the car and drive away from the store before I could even THINK of calming down. Snoopy sucks ok?!?!
By now, I'm sure, you are at the edge of your seats wanting to know why I hate geese. *sigh* Here goes.... When I was 6 years old, we lived close to a farm with horse stables. On the weekends, they would let the little kids ride the ponies for free. Well, my parents thought cool, if it's free, then it fits our budget, get the kid and let's go. Well it all started out great. I got to ride a really nice pony and thought to myself "Hey, I want a pony now. This is neato." The ride ended and the stable dude comes over and helps me off the pony and I proclaim "Mom, I want to learn to ride ponies. I want a pony." My parents started talking to the stable dude and with my attention span and the love of animals, I see this flock of geese. I run up to the flock and this goose with an attitude charges at me hissing, huffin' and puffin' and flapping it's nappy wings at me. Now, when faced with the fight or flee situation at the tender age of 6, I quickly assessed the situation and thought this goose is pissed. My instinct was to flee. So off I go running and this psycho goose chases me into a corner. Again, I let out the scream of terror, thinking, "hey, it worked the last time and as a bonus, I didn't pee on myself!" I'm thinking my parents would come to my rescue right? Nope, they just stood there laughing as that goose was hissing and pecking at me. The stable dude had to kick the stupid thing away from me and I ran to the car crying my eyeballs out. We never went back to the farm or stables after that and I never wanted a pony after that either. (Boy, did my parent's luck out on that one or what?)
So, there you have it. Justifiable reasons as to why I don't care for some things. Now I ask you, Does this make me crazy or what? I know it explains a lot doesn't it? HA!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
25 Things about ME!
So I figure I'll go ahead and get this out of the way.... here goes
1. Clowns creep me out – I guess this goes back to early childhood, but it was pretty much a done deal when I saw Poltergeist.
2. Not a big fan of Snoopy – Again, this is a childhood thing. Please don’t make me have to relive the terror and explain why.
3. I don’t like to be in or drive in the HOV lanes – Not because I don’t think the concept isn’t good, I just have this irrational fear of feeling closed in and not being able to escape.
4. I hated being an only child – I discovered at an early age that imaginary friends don’t carry on good conversations.
5. I’m very possessive – ummmm, just ask Darren on this one.
6. I’m lucky enough to have found my best friend and soul mate and married him – I also experienced all of my adult “1st”s with him as well.
7. I’m left handed – this sucks in a world made for right handers!
8. I have a fear of death – It’s too permanent for me and I refuse to say good bye to people I love.
9. I love Chihuahua ’s – especially my sweet, cute, tiny, little, attack Darren on command, Tellulah Belle.
10. I have insomnia – I’m just too much of a “type a” person.
11. I remained drunk for the majority of my senior year in college – hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
12. I cry when I’m mad – Yet another childhood thing. I never really learned to deal with emotions well.
13. I have an addiction to facebook, twitter and video games…especially RPG’s.
14. If/when I decide to grow up, I want to live inside the Magic Kingdom Castle at Walt Disney World.
15. I’ve attended mass at the Vatican – It was so beautiful it literally brought me to tears.
16. I’ve never gone to Mexico – Despite living in Texas most of my life.
17. I invoke a strict “no talking” rule in the house when American Idol is on.
18. I hate Geese – you guessed it, another childhood thing.
19. I secretly like Darren’s iPhone, but I would NEVER tell him…wait, err, can I retract that statement… oh never mind!
20. Darren spoils me rotten – most people close to me already know this, however those who aren’t too familiar with me or our history together, trust me when I say, he supports me in the manner in which I have become accustomed to.
21. My teen idol crush was Scott Baio – I even got his autograph and I’m ashamed to admit this, but I even saw him in concert at six flags.
22. My favorite color is blue - my last 4 cars have all been blue.
23. Speaking of cars – I cried the day I traded in my VW Bug for a minivan. (Although I LOVE the reason why)
24. I love to scrapbook – I’ve done this since the 6th grade, but didn’t really get into it until after 9/11
25. My idea of a wonderful time is getting iced in with my family and playing video games all day while baking cookies.
Ok, so there you have it. Yes, I need more psychotherapy, yes, I'm neurotic, I'd even venture to say I'm eccentric. But hey, it's all about me!
1. Clowns creep me out – I guess this goes back to early childhood, but it was pretty much a done deal when I saw Poltergeist.
2. Not a big fan of Snoopy – Again, this is a childhood thing. Please don’t make me have to relive the terror and explain why.
3. I don’t like to be in or drive in the HOV lanes – Not because I don’t think the concept isn’t good, I just have this irrational fear of feeling closed in and not being able to escape.
4. I hated being an only child – I discovered at an early age that imaginary friends don’t carry on good conversations.
5. I’m very possessive – ummmm, just ask Darren on this one.
6. I’m lucky enough to have found my best friend and soul mate and married him – I also experienced all of my adult “1st”s with him as well.
7. I’m left handed – this sucks in a world made for right handers!
8. I have a fear of death – It’s too permanent for me and I refuse to say good bye to people I love.
9. I love Chihuahua ’s – especially my sweet, cute, tiny, little, attack Darren on command, Tellulah Belle.
10. I have insomnia – I’m just too much of a “type a” person.
11. I remained drunk for the majority of my senior year in college – hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
12. I cry when I’m mad – Yet another childhood thing. I never really learned to deal with emotions well.
13. I have an addiction to facebook, twitter and video games…especially RPG’s.
14. If/when I decide to grow up, I want to live inside the Magic Kingdom Castle at Walt Disney World.
15. I’ve attended mass at the Vatican – It was so beautiful it literally brought me to tears.
16. I’ve never gone to Mexico – Despite living in Texas most of my life.
17. I invoke a strict “no talking” rule in the house when American Idol is on.
18. I hate Geese – you guessed it, another childhood thing.
19. I secretly like Darren’s iPhone, but I would NEVER tell him…wait, err, can I retract that statement… oh never mind!
20. Darren spoils me rotten – most people close to me already know this, however those who aren’t too familiar with me or our history together, trust me when I say, he supports me in the manner in which I have become accustomed to.
21. My teen idol crush was Scott Baio – I even got his autograph and I’m ashamed to admit this, but I even saw him in concert at six flags.
22. My favorite color is blue - my last 4 cars have all been blue.
23. Speaking of cars – I cried the day I traded in my VW Bug for a minivan. (Although I LOVE the reason why)
24. I love to scrapbook – I’ve done this since the 6th grade, but didn’t really get into it until after 9/11
25. My idea of a wonderful time is getting iced in with my family and playing video games all day while baking cookies.
Ok, so there you have it. Yes, I need more psychotherapy, yes, I'm neurotic, I'd even venture to say I'm eccentric. But hey, it's all about me!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Don't Judge Me!
In my profession, I see and witness a lot. Perhaps it’s tainted my view somewhat on the human race. Not a day goes by without me finding out how yet another employee has figured out another way to “cheat the system”, leaving me to determine whether or not it’s serious enough to terminate their employment. Nine times out of ten, it is.
Now being in HR for over 19 years, I can look back and see how much I’ve changed. I would take every termination to heart. I would fight back the tears and shaky voice and actually apologize as I fired them. Those were the days when I was non-judgmental. I was naive to the fact that there are people out their who don’t think twice or loose any sleep as they carry out their deceitful ways and worse yet, show others how to get away with it. I still to this day believe that our Staffing department recruits from Lou Sterrig Jail as they release criminals. That’s another story in itself. Yes, in the beginning I would come home in tears and be greeted by D and he would patiently listen as I babbled on and on about how business is so cruel and how many people I had to fire that day.
Eventually, as I saw so many things and shown time and time again how people put themselves into bad situations and expect to get off with a warning, I became more unattached; more “cold”. Sure I would listen to them, with a blank look of “yea right, tell me something that I haven’t heard yet, entertain me”, but in the end, they were sent back to their desk with a box and ask to leave without making a scene. As time went on, I began to treat employee relations issues in the same way. Everyone became guilty until proven innocent. I slowly became very cynical about those who work with me or that I supported.
It wasn’t until recently that I got a reminder of why I’m still in HR after all of these years. Yea, I bitch about it a lot. Yea, I see a lot of dishonesty happening and me being the bad guy telling people to stop it and play nice or else, but it wasn’t until I met Latavia that I realized what I had become. I let myself become that horrible HR Bitch that everyone hates to see walking their way.
I got a call from a manager who literally had my specialist pull me out of my meeting to give me a "911" message. "Quick" she says to me, "you gotta call the manager right now. Lativia is coming down and SHE IS PISSED!" I'm thinking to myself this building probably has at least a dozen Latavia's that want to bitch me out, have her take a number and stand in line, but, I was bored in the meeting and thought ok, I haven't had my fill of employees whining and complaining about something or the other, what the hell. I calmly call the manager and she's in a full fledged panic. "This better be good, you pulled me out of a meeting." The manger explained to me that Latavia was pissed off because the mgr told her that the death of the best friend of her baby's daddy did not qualify for family bereavement. As cold as it may be, our company doesn't give out paid bereavement unless it's an immediate family member. It's amazing how many people have 12 sets of grandparents that die every year. Weird. Anyway, no sooner did I hang up the phone I could hear the commotion upfront. "I need to speak with my HR rep! I need to speak with her right now. Don't tell me that she's not available, I demand to speak with my HR Rep now!"
I'm thinking to myself "great, here's another damn the man and angry at the world person that I have to deal with today. I hate this shit." I took a deep breath and headed out to meet Latavia. "You!" she points at me. "I need to see you right now!" "Latavia, I need for you to lower your voice and calm down and I will be more that happy to stop what I'm doing to speak with you." I said. "Fine!" said Latavia. "But I'm upset and I want to file a complaint!" I'm thinking to myself yeah, well take a number bitch, you and half of this business feel the same way, what makes you so special? Do I say this, of course not. I take my passive aggressive self and led her into a conference room. As I close the door, Latavia sits down and before I could say "Tell me what happened?" Lavtavia bursts into tears. Not the sobbing can't breath tears, but genuine grief tears. Her first words to me were "Please don't judge me. I really need this time off, please." I explained the policy again and what is meant in layman's terms. Latavia looked up and again said, "please, I've got so much happening. My fiance' is catatonic from the loss of his best friend, I'm pregnant with his child and I don't have enough money to pay the rent this month and will probably get evicted. I understand the policy, but please, I know what you're thinking, but I'm not like the others. Please don't judge me, I need help."
Wow! What a bomb she dropped on me. Congrats Latavia, you just cracked the shell. I looked at her and I don't know why, but I started to blink back the tears that are starting to swell up in my eyes. I said, "Ok Latavia, talk to me. This isn't about getting paid bereavement time is it?" Slowly she shook her head no. Lataiva explained how she's had some rough time, but over the last 2 years she's cleaned up her life. She's never been a "problem employee" in fact, she's worked her way up to team lead in the short time she's been working for us. I listened and she spoke, pouring out her heart and swallowing her pride and telling me how she's gone from nothing to a little something, and now that too is slipping away.
Truth is, I did judge her when she walked in and my judgment was way off to mark. All Latavia really needed was for someone to show her a little compassion and listen to her, which to no surprise, she didn't get from her manager. It was quiet for a moment and I said "Latavia, tell you what, I promise not to judge you if you do the same of me. Deal?" Latavia looked up and tried to smile. I explained that I don't make the rules, I just interpret what they mean. I can't make exceptions to policy, but I can see if we can creatively figure out how we can work together and maybe meet in the middle somewhere.
I made a few calls, yelled at her manager and taaadaaaaa, got her 3 days off so she could attend the funeral and help her fiance' and herself through a tough time. Latavia thanked me and as we were walking out the door, she turned around, hugged me and said "You know, you're not what I expected. You really are nice. I promise not to judge you." To which I replied, "Me too!"
Yesterday, I made it back to the home of the thigh high red leather boot gal office and as I pass our office secretary, she holds up some mail and said someone stopped by and dropped this off. I get back to my desk, pull up email and finally near the end of the day, I look over and saw the mail I didn't open yet. I open up the 1st piece and it's a card.
"Dear Ms. Judy,
Thank you for taking time to listen to me. Your compassion has given me hope that not everyone is cold hearted at the office. I'm glad that you stopped and listened to me. It has made all the difference on my outlook on things.
Your non-judgemental FRIEND,
Latavia"
That my friends is what being in HR is all about. That is why I do what I do. It took a very unfortunate situation of someone to remind me not to be cold and detached or iron hearted. That 30 minute conversation with Latavia did me more good than it could have ever done for her. She reaffirmed that all people really want is to be heard and feel some respect and compassion. Just a little of that will go a long way.
Now being in HR for over 19 years, I can look back and see how much I’ve changed. I would take every termination to heart. I would fight back the tears and shaky voice and actually apologize as I fired them. Those were the days when I was non-judgmental. I was naive to the fact that there are people out their who don’t think twice or loose any sleep as they carry out their deceitful ways and worse yet, show others how to get away with it. I still to this day believe that our Staffing department recruits from Lou Sterrig Jail as they release criminals. That’s another story in itself. Yes, in the beginning I would come home in tears and be greeted by D and he would patiently listen as I babbled on and on about how business is so cruel and how many people I had to fire that day.
Eventually, as I saw so many things and shown time and time again how people put themselves into bad situations and expect to get off with a warning, I became more unattached; more “cold”. Sure I would listen to them, with a blank look of “yea right, tell me something that I haven’t heard yet, entertain me”, but in the end, they were sent back to their desk with a box and ask to leave without making a scene. As time went on, I began to treat employee relations issues in the same way. Everyone became guilty until proven innocent. I slowly became very cynical about those who work with me or that I supported.
It wasn’t until recently that I got a reminder of why I’m still in HR after all of these years. Yea, I bitch about it a lot. Yea, I see a lot of dishonesty happening and me being the bad guy telling people to stop it and play nice or else, but it wasn’t until I met Latavia that I realized what I had become. I let myself become that horrible HR Bitch that everyone hates to see walking their way.
I got a call from a manager who literally had my specialist pull me out of my meeting to give me a "911" message. "Quick" she says to me, "you gotta call the manager right now. Lativia is coming down and SHE IS PISSED!" I'm thinking to myself this building probably has at least a dozen Latavia's that want to bitch me out, have her take a number and stand in line, but, I was bored in the meeting and thought ok, I haven't had my fill of employees whining and complaining about something or the other, what the hell. I calmly call the manager and she's in a full fledged panic. "This better be good, you pulled me out of a meeting." The manger explained to me that Latavia was pissed off because the mgr told her that the death of the best friend of her baby's daddy did not qualify for family bereavement. As cold as it may be, our company doesn't give out paid bereavement unless it's an immediate family member. It's amazing how many people have 12 sets of grandparents that die every year. Weird. Anyway, no sooner did I hang up the phone I could hear the commotion upfront. "I need to speak with my HR rep! I need to speak with her right now. Don't tell me that she's not available, I demand to speak with my HR Rep now!"
I'm thinking to myself "great, here's another damn the man and angry at the world person that I have to deal with today. I hate this shit." I took a deep breath and headed out to meet Latavia. "You!" she points at me. "I need to see you right now!" "Latavia, I need for you to lower your voice and calm down and I will be more that happy to stop what I'm doing to speak with you." I said. "Fine!" said Latavia. "But I'm upset and I want to file a complaint!" I'm thinking to myself yeah, well take a number bitch, you and half of this business feel the same way, what makes you so special? Do I say this, of course not. I take my passive aggressive self and led her into a conference room. As I close the door, Latavia sits down and before I could say "Tell me what happened?" Lavtavia bursts into tears. Not the sobbing can't breath tears, but genuine grief tears. Her first words to me were "Please don't judge me. I really need this time off, please." I explained the policy again and what is meant in layman's terms. Latavia looked up and again said, "please, I've got so much happening. My fiance' is catatonic from the loss of his best friend, I'm pregnant with his child and I don't have enough money to pay the rent this month and will probably get evicted. I understand the policy, but please, I know what you're thinking, but I'm not like the others. Please don't judge me, I need help."
Wow! What a bomb she dropped on me. Congrats Latavia, you just cracked the shell. I looked at her and I don't know why, but I started to blink back the tears that are starting to swell up in my eyes. I said, "Ok Latavia, talk to me. This isn't about getting paid bereavement time is it?" Slowly she shook her head no. Lataiva explained how she's had some rough time, but over the last 2 years she's cleaned up her life. She's never been a "problem employee" in fact, she's worked her way up to team lead in the short time she's been working for us. I listened and she spoke, pouring out her heart and swallowing her pride and telling me how she's gone from nothing to a little something, and now that too is slipping away.
Truth is, I did judge her when she walked in and my judgment was way off to mark. All Latavia really needed was for someone to show her a little compassion and listen to her, which to no surprise, she didn't get from her manager. It was quiet for a moment and I said "Latavia, tell you what, I promise not to judge you if you do the same of me. Deal?" Latavia looked up and tried to smile. I explained that I don't make the rules, I just interpret what they mean. I can't make exceptions to policy, but I can see if we can creatively figure out how we can work together and maybe meet in the middle somewhere.
I made a few calls, yelled at her manager and taaadaaaaa, got her 3 days off so she could attend the funeral and help her fiance' and herself through a tough time. Latavia thanked me and as we were walking out the door, she turned around, hugged me and said "You know, you're not what I expected. You really are nice. I promise not to judge you." To which I replied, "Me too!"
Yesterday, I made it back to the home of the thigh high red leather boot gal office and as I pass our office secretary, she holds up some mail and said someone stopped by and dropped this off. I get back to my desk, pull up email and finally near the end of the day, I look over and saw the mail I didn't open yet. I open up the 1st piece and it's a card.
"Dear Ms. Judy,
Thank you for taking time to listen to me. Your compassion has given me hope that not everyone is cold hearted at the office. I'm glad that you stopped and listened to me. It has made all the difference on my outlook on things.
Your non-judgemental FRIEND,
Latavia"
That my friends is what being in HR is all about. That is why I do what I do. It took a very unfortunate situation of someone to remind me not to be cold and detached or iron hearted. That 30 minute conversation with Latavia did me more good than it could have ever done for her. She reaffirmed that all people really want is to be heard and feel some respect and compassion. Just a little of that will go a long way.
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