Friendship

I know that I’ve said this before, but I’m not exactly the most social of people. I think that is why I enjoy Twitter so much. I can be this “personality” and no one really knows who I am. Not too many people know that I’m on Twitter and I don’t have too many followers either. What’s seen on Twitter is the uncensored “me”. The “me” that only a few people really know in person.

People who actually meet me in person think I’m “cold” or “impersonal”. It’s o.k. I’m comfortable with this fact. It’s those people that can see beyond that hereditary “wall” of mine that are truly worthy of being what I call my friend. It’s that sort of person that I want to be my friend. So when I say that I don’t have too many friends, it’s should be of no surprise. The few friends that I do have, I will fight to the death for. I have an extreme loyalty to my friends and I will give and help them with anything that I possibly can.

I can honestly say that Darren was and still is my first true friend. It took me 17 years to find him, but thankfully, God intervened and finally put situations in place so that our pathways would cross with one another. Darren was the first one to “get it”. Maybe it’s just his personality of being persistent, or loves the pursuit of a challenge or maybe it’s just plain dumb luck that he stumbled upon, but Darren was the first person to see past all my nasty flaws and crusty walls and truly see me. Anyone lucky enough to have Darren as a friend is truly blessed. He can see the humor in just about anything and will always be there for you. But this blog isn’t about my friendship with Darren. This blog really is about someone else.

There is one other person in my life that falls into my true friend category. I haven’t known her forever like I have Darren, but she’s definitely a close 2nd. I’ve known her for over 19 years now and she’s still crazy enough to not run away from me screaming. She is the closest thing to being a sister to me.

What makes her so special? Well for starters she’s absolutely beautiful. She’s gorgeous not only on the outside but on the inside as well. Now most women (myself included) would typically feel a tinge of jealousy or competitiveness about this, but it’s different with my BFF. With her, I don’t feel like the “short, dumpy one” or “the one with a good personality”. My BFF is the type of person that doesn’t even realize how beautiful she is. If she does, well than she sure does put on a great show making us believe otherwise. Anyway, my BFF is the one that guys always take a second glance at when we’re out together. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve laughed at the whiplash some guys have given themselves with their double takes as she walks by. Thankfully, she’s a good sport about it. There are sometimes though, when guys are so obvious about it, that she’ll really put them on the spot. One time she and I were shopping and we couldn’t help but notice two guys constantly and conveniently on the same aisle as we were on. They would glance over at us and whisper and nudge one another. Finally my BFF looked over and yells, “What is your deal? I’m pregnant O.K?!” It was furthest from the truth, she wasn’t pregnant, but the two guys both jumped and couldn’t get away from us fast enough. We laughed so hard that we were crying.

My BFF and I have gone through a lot together, yet another reason why she is so special to me. We’ve gone through heartbreaks, health scares and lean days of sharing a Taco Cabana meal because our checking accounts were almost empty and payday was another week away. She’s been my shoulder to cry on (literally) when Darren was out of the country and I was alone in my apartment scared to death. She’s been subjected to my failed fish tank set up attempt and she’s been my personal “Martha Stewart” for any decorating advice I need.

We’ve gone through work frustrations and job and personal identity crisis together. Through it all, we’re still friends and look back and laugh in amazement on exactly how we have managed to survive this far in life without getting ourselves either killed or seriously maimed.

My BFF always manages to save the day and bail Darren out of serious trouble when he's in the dog house with me. She continuously reminds Darren to “go by the list” and fixes the times when Darren doesn’t. She’s my “little bird” that keeps my life in check. She’s my conscious (both good and bad) and she’s awesome at making people look like the hero. Just ask Darren. She’s the reason why I have my “necessities” in life like purses, wallets and XM Radio.

She has super human powers in influencing people in a positive way and she adores her nieces and nephews, including my tater tots. My kiddos know her as “Aunt Ta-Ta” and to them and me, she is family. She’s been at every important life event for me and has been there to hold my hand when things got really bad and for that she will always be a very important part of my life and always my Best Friend Forever!

Reconnection and Suprises

What ever possessed Darren and I to plan our wedding so close to Valentine's Day I will never know. Call it temporary insanity, call it rushing because Darren finally decided to settle down or an opportunity of a lifetime trip,(all of which are true) but our timing could not have been worse.

Every year we face the same dilema; do we celebrate our anniversary on the actual date (February 12th) or wait and celebrate with everyone else who decides to take advantage of all the hoopla and chaos called Valentine's Day. It's always a toss up and sometimes pretty dicey if we don't plan ahead. After our 2nd wedding anniversary debacle, the rule is that if I'm not planning it, I still have the right to veto any choices that are made in my behalf. Me, being the planner that I am, started back in November by researching places we could eat at, fun events we could go to or trips we could take.

So it's not everyday one celebrates their 15th wedding anniversary. At least that was my logic as I planned out our "date". So as I'm researching, I come across this resort in Dallas called The Gaylord Texan Resort.

It took a little convincing, and a lot of tugging on the credit card before Darren finally agreed to the plan. Side bar note: Major kudos to Darren who rolled with punches and didn't complain one bit. At first, Darren did voiced some concern of the things I had planned out for us, but later thought it cool after all was said and done. This place was amazing. The restaurants were fantastic and rooms were nice a big. Upon our arrival, we had flowers and champagne knocking at our door.



We took advantage of everything that came with the package. The meals, the spa, the shopping just enjoying time with each other and finally reconnecting again.



Needless to say that once the twin tots arrived, Darren and I are always on the run. I wouldn't change anything about being blessed with three terrific tater tots, but after a while, even though you're together, you're not really connected or in sync with each other. When we do get the rare opportunity to escape, just the two of us, and especially when the kids are safe and sound spending the night with the grandfolks, it really is a special treat.

Part of us deciding on going to this resort was that we wouldn't buy each other gifts. Our time at this resort was our gift to each other. That was my pitch to Darren to convince him to release the credit card to me. Our time together was amazing. It didn't take long to genuinely smile and laugh about things. It was so great to just have "grown up" talk and "goofiness" The day comes and goes, we enjoy a wonderful dinner and Darren then proclaims that he's got a present for me.

Me:"No presents, we agreed".
Darren:"I know I know, this is something that we both can enjoy."
Me: "Darren, please no toys. We don't need any toys. And no joking. We're not supposed to get each other gifts...we pinky promised.
Darren: "Judes, it's something that I got a couple of weeks ago."
Me: "Does it need batteries?"
Darren: "Technically no, but I know that you will enjoy it and so will I"

So I managed to avoid the gift giving hoping that Darren was just joking with me. The next morning, He confronts me with this HUGE bag. "Open it!" Darren gives me the bag and said "No arguments!"

I open up the bag and........



I burst into tears, Darren laughs at me and I say "you had me believing that you got something else"! Darren is laughing at me and says, "Wow, I didn't know that you like that sort of stuff, but hey, if you're game I'm game." So not funny Mr. Reeves! So another year comes and goes and we have another memory that I can scrapbook about, but most importantly, we were able to reconnect and finally sync up together again. That alone was priceless for us and the best gift of all.

After All These Years

With each year that passes by, I’m always amazed with how Darren hasn’t walked away from all the chaos, craziness and stress that I cause him. Darren and I have a LONG history together. Many said it would never amount to anything. A few even prayed that it wouldn’t amount to anything. Somehow, Darren and I have managed to beat the odds and we’re still together and crazy in love with each other.

Darren and I met in high school. It was the summer of his junior year and my senior year. (Just for the record, yes I’m older than him by ONLY 24 days) My best friend had this “rocky” relationship with this creep. She always had to give me all the gory details and play by play on what they did together and what horrible things he said to her. When they “broke up” I was the one to talk her into giving it another try. With each “break up” they had, I started to dislike this guy more and more. When I finally met this creep of a boyfriend of hers, it was the summer of '84. Let's just say that I wasn’t too impressed with him. In fact, this guy named “Darren” and I exchanged a few choice words at each other and it was pretty clear that his feelings for me were the same. We did NOT care for one another. Regardless, I tolerated this guy because it appeared that, for whatever god forsaken reason, my best friend “loved him”. *gag*. As far as I was concerned, he was a jerk and continuously broke up with my best friend. I thought was an arrogant cowboy who thought he was too cool to deal with his girl friend's best friend and thought of me as a third wheel.. and a bitch as well.

The last fight between my best friend and "The Creep" was actually different. This time, my best friend refused to talk to me about what happened and said that she never wanted to get back together with Darren. She said that the “long distance” was an issue and she has moved on. Mind you, my best friend and I went to the same school and "The Creep" went to the rival school, but we were only 8 miles apart from each other.

Secretly I was THRILLED. I thought to myself Hot Damn! I wouldn’t have to deal with "The Creep" in her life any longer. Most importantly I wouldn't be blown off by my best friend whenever "The Creep" decided they were going out. *best friend’s heartbreak = me getting my best friend back yeah*

I’m not exactly sure how he got my phone number, but out of the blue I started getting calls from "The Creep". At first, I just ignored them. I wouldn’t answer the phone or didn’t return the calls. It wasn’t until my dad yelled that if I didn’t tell this guy to stop calling, he would. So, wanting to spare "The Creep" the wrath of my dad, I finally picked up the phone. I figured, if nothing else, I would hurl some insulting names at him for breaking up with my best friend. I had it all planned out. I was going to tell him “you suck, stop calling me, she’s moved on and doesn’t want you back and I’m NOT going to get you two back together again. Thanks for playing, bye!” Instead, before I could say anything, Darren says “I really need to talk to you.”

Me: *in a real sarcastic and hostile tone* “What!? Talk about what? About what you did to my best friend? What in the hell do you need to talk to me about?”

This time, "The Creep" explained to me that it wasn’t him that broke it off, it was my best friend and that he’s tired of the rollercoaster relationship that they’ve been on for the last few months. Then he drops the Hiroshima of bombs on me.

Darren: “Judy, I was kind of thinking that maybe you and I could go out…just to talk.”
Me: “What?! Are you crazy? No, I won’t go out with you.
Darren: “Why, I’m not that bad of a guy and I promise I’m up to date on all my shots.”
Me: “No way. You’re my best friend’s boyfriend...”
Darren: “EX boyfriend”
Me: “Like I said, you’re my best friend’s boyfriend, be it present or past. I can’t go out with you. It's against the code.”

For the next month, and I’m not exaggerating, Darren called me every night. Our conversations started to last longer, and eventually got civilized at some point. Every night the call ended with the same discussion. “C’mon Judes, just meet me somewhere. It’s not a date if we meet somewhere and we each pay for our own way.” I finally broke down and met him at Braum’s. That was in the fall of 1984. By 1/1/85, we were a couple.

I lost my best friend and of course my reputation during my senior year tanked because I did the unthinkable. By the time the rumor got back to me I apparently “stole” my best friend’s boyfriend and I bragged about how good he was in the sack. WHATEVER! Just for the record, I was a “good girl” and never did anything like that….at least not while I was in high school.

It didn’t matter to me though. As Darren and I dated, I realized that he wasn’t the arrogant cowboy or the tyrant that he was made out to be by my former best friend. In fact, Darren was hilarious. He always made me laugh and was able to somehow get me to let my guard down with him. He was thoughtful and sweet. He would take me to see the “chick flicks” and never complain about the movie, only the prices that he had to pay for it. He would always look out for me and make sure that I was happy and I enjoyed my time with him. He gave me goose bumps and butterflies when I saw him. Whatever I wanted to do, he was cool with. He was (and still is) a gentleman. He became my best friend. He was (and still is) a little frugal, but THAT is another blog in itself.

Twenty four years later, Darren and I are still “dating”. He still makes me laugh, he still gives me goose bumps and butterflies…and most importantly, he’s still my best friend. On 1/1/85 we shared our first “real” kiss as a couple. On 2/12/94 we shared our first “real” kiss as man and wife. He’s the best thing that has ever happened in my life and I'm so grateful that he's put up with my drama and makes me laugh about it. He is the cheese to my macaroni. Happy Anniversary D. I love you!